Wednesday, 13 June 2018

JUST A BIRD - 100 word story

This week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt of a bird at the window (a partridge, I think) prompted a story about our interactions with wildlife.



PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays



JUST A BIRD

The little girl looked at the bird.
The bird looked at the little girl.
'Hey, bird.'
....
The drought was sapping her strength. The humans had food. And she needed to feed her slowly starving chicks.
She stared at the child, willing her to understand.
....
Maddie gazed at the bird and frowned. It looked skinny. She picked up her father's jar of fishing worms and gently tipped some of the contents onto the window sill.
'Thank you,' said the bird.
'You're welcome,' said Maddie.
Her mother called from another room. 'Who are you talking to, Maddie?'
'Just a bird.'


I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE 




If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 





54 comments:

  1. Dear Susan,

    What a delightful, feel-good story. I loved the bird willing her to understand.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. I don't know about birds, but my dog can certainly make me understand what she wants when she stares intently at me! :)

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  2. I liked the matter-of-fact way the talkng bird is dealt with

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    1. Thanks, Neil. Glad it worked for you. :)

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  3. That's an understanding child and a needy bird.
    Glad the child helped. Droughts are tough...
    Here's mine-
    Stranger Outside?- Anita

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    1. I chose a child character because I think children are more open to suggestion - and acceptance of unusual happenings! Thanks for commenting, Anita.

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  4. I loved the interaction here. Very well conveyed. Jilly, Sugar on the Bee.

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    1. Thanks, Jilly - glad the structure worked for you.

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    1. Ha ha... groan! Thanks for commenting, Keith. :)

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  6. Such a lovely story, if only everyone did take a little more care of those around them, birds included.

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    1. Yes, we all need to be open to what's going on around us, Iain.

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  7. What a nice little girl. Hopeful the drought ends soon and mama partridge can feed the chicks without Maddie's help.

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    1. Thanks, Trent. Yes, I rather like Maddie too!

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  8. I like your story very much. One key detail for me is the way you treat the little girl's talking to the bird, and the bird's replies, in a totally straightforward manner, as though it's an everyday occurrence. That makes the whole story very real to me.

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    1. Thanks for your feedback, Penny. It's always good to know when something I try in a story works. :)

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  9. That was fun.

    If I were a talking bird, but wanted to keep that fact a secret for whatever reason, I'd probably allow myself to talk to young children. No one ever believes them when they insist that something fantastic is true. It's kind of like the situation between Mr. Ed and Wilbur Post, although Wilbur was an adult.

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    1. Yes, children's magical experiences are usually put down to over-active imaginations! Thanks for commenting.
      (I used to love watching Mr Ed.)

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  10. The bird willing her to understand; her willingness to give it food--lovely.

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    1. I'd like to think this is a scenario that could happen. Thanks for commenting, Linda. :)

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  11. Really cool tale, sweet and plausible for children of all ages.

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    1. And hopefully almost plausible for adults! :)
      Thanks for commenting, CE.

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  12. Love it... i think it takes a child to understand... not only the early bird gets the worm if there's a little girl at hand

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    1. Yes, this story wouldn't have worked if I'd made the protagonist an adult. Thanks for commenting, Bjorn.

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  13. wouldn't it be nice if the bird turned into a genie? :)

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    1. Now that would make an interesting, longer story!

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  14. A modern fairy tale. Very well crafted.

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    1. Yes, I suppose it is. Thanks for your kind feedback.

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  15. What a lovely story and such a lovely little girl :-)

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    1. Thanks, Alistair - good to know you enjoyed reading it.

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  16. That left me feeling all warm and cosy. Lovely.

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    1. Yes, nothing like a feel-good story, is there? Thanks for commenting, Sandra.

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  17. That is such a sweet story. I love it. Children so often have compassion where grown-ups have lost it. The bird is a California Quail btw.

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    1. Thanks, Gah. Yes, children are much more receptive than adults.
      A Californian Quail? Thanks for the info - I wasn't sure if it was a partridge or not. :)

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  18. Thanks for the kindness in your story. It made my morning.

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    1. Ah, that's lovely to know, Alicia. Thanks for your comment. :)

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  19. I love this, Susan.
    I love the unspoken (yet heard) request...

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    1. Thanks for the feedback, Dale - glad you liked it. :)

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  20. Absolutely beautiful story x

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Liz - much appreciated.

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  21. I love the fantasy of this story. That little girl is something special!

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    1. Glad it worked for you! Thanks for your lovely feedback, Joseph.

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  22. What a compassionate child. Great story, Susan.

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Russell - appreciate it. :)

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  23. You captured the little girl's innate compassion brilliantly. Lovely story!

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Ellie - much appreciated!

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  24. So lovely Susan, and so lovely the little girl could understand the bird's needs. Lovely writin

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  25. Thanks for commenting, Lynn. Always good to know when someone has enjoyed one of my stories. :)

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  26. Nice. It would be wonderful if we could communicate with animals and them with us...although I'd swear my Scout seems to understand me fine. :)

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    1. Is Scout your pet? I can definitely communicate with my dog. Wild creatures, not so much. Thanks for commenting, Sascha.

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Thank you for your comment!