Wednesday, 8 August 2018

KEEPING IT CLEAN - 100 word story

It's Friday Fictioneers time again. I love the window boxes in the photo prompt, but how to weave a story around them was quite a challenge.


Photo prompt  © Ronda Del Boccio




KEEPING IT CLEAN


Sheila tapped the soap three times and washed her hands. Tapped twice, washed her hands. Tapped once more and washed her hands.
She contemplated her new, empty window boxes. So sleek. So pristine. So beautiful. But what could she plant?
Flowers were a definite no. Too much mess.
Something green? Something simple? Something clean? Oh, yes.
She had an idea.
An hour later the boxes were filled.
With a tentative finger, Sheila stroked a blade of grass.
Damn!
Sheila tapped the soap three times and washed her hands. Tapped twice, washed her hands. Tapped once more and washed her hands.





I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE




If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.



On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 






68 comments:

  1. Nothing is as simple and clean as we think

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  2. That didn't quite work out as she had planned.

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    1. she'll be find if stops being tempted to stroke the grass. :)

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  3. Poor Sheila, I'm not sure any sort of window box is going to be good for her OCD...

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    1. Ah, but consider the allure, Iain, the allure of a pristine window box!

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  4. It must be dreadful to be that obsessive. Well written, Susan.

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    1. Yes, Lizy - under the upbeat tone of the story lies a sad one.

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  5. Nicely structured. The repetition is so evocative of the condition. Well done.

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  6. Shiela was a cleanliness freak.

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  7. She should have planted saponaria.

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  8. Somebody sounds a little compulsive. Are there any plants that would work for her? besides plastic...

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  9. Excellent take on the prompt. You've constructed the story very neatly. Poor Sheila, suffering from OCD.

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    1. Thanks, Penny. The idea came to me because those boxes looked so manicured and tidy! :)

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  10. It occurs to me that describing a person's actions would take much longer if he or she has OCD. Wonder how long it would have taken her to fill that box otherwise?

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    1. Way more than the allocated 100 word, word count! :)

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  11. The ritualistic hand-washing describes her condition well.

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    1. Thanks, Gah. It's a serious problem for some people.

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  12. Replies
    1. I read an article about someone with OCD recently which gave me the idea. :)

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  13. That's a quick recipe for chapped hands and maybe a show recipe for a chat with a therapist.

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    1. Yes, she needs help. Thanks for commenting, Alice.

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  14. My mom had OCD. Not a fun problem.
    Nicely demonstrated here.

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    1. No, it's not fun for a sufferer. Thanks for the feedback - I'm glad I hit the right tone.

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  15. An unusual take. Like the way you crafted this.

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  16. Poor Sheila. It must be hard living with that.

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    1. Yes I think it's a lot harder than people realise.

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  17. Sheila has quite a major problem

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  18. Dear Susan,

    You've encapsulated a piece of the day in the life of someone with OCD. It's a very real disorder. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Yes, sufferers tend not to be taken seriously, but it has a huge impact on peoples' lives. Thanks for commenting, Rochelle.

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  19. Oh dear... I cannot imagine the stress living with OCD can bring... this was perfectly done!

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    1. Thank you, Dale. Good to know I struck the right note.

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    1. Thanks, Helen - appreciate your succinct comment! :)

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  21. Time to think again. Perhaps the sleek pristine boxes would be best left empty.

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    1. Yes, she might regret that grass. Thanks for commenting, Keith.

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  22. A little OCD going on there. Three is often the magic number for people who are burdened with OCD. You did a fine job of portraying this woman.

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    1. Thank you, Linda. Your comment is much appreciated.

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  23. Shame for her. But I love the soap detail, really nailed it

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    1. Yes, sad for her. Thank you for your comment! :)

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  24. An imaginative take of the prompt - the obsessive hand washing for me fitted the pristinely clean green blades of grass so well. Clever story.

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    1. Thank you! It was clean looking boxes that triggered my idea. :)

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  25. Different take, Susan!
    She has OCD- obsessive compulsive disorder :)
    Gardening is not the hobby for her then!

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    1. No, I think gardening is a challenge for sufferers of the condition. Thanks for commenting, Anita.

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  26. Wow! The only suggestion I have is to introduce one word, Susan...

    "Sheila stroked a plastic blade of grass."


    Well observed.

    marion

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    1. Yes, that would have worked nicely, Marion - thanks for your suggestion. :)

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  27. An fine portrayal of person suffering from OCD, you have brought out her stress so well.

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    1. Thank you, Subroto - glad to know my story worked for you.

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  28. Excellent! I could see her every move.

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    1. Thank you for the feedback, Dawn - much appreciated.

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  29. Well told. Such a debilitating exhausting condition to have to live with. Jilly, Sugar on the Bee

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    1. Yes, I'm sure it is exhausting, Jilly. I do feel for anyone who suffers from it. Thanks for commenting. :)

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  30. I really liked that story. Not that I am OCD, but i have developed a good appreciation for clean hands. OK, maybe i am a bit OCD.

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    1. Ha ha - thanks for commenting, Susan. I must confess I'm a big hand-washer too, but I don't have any rituals surrounding it. :)

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  31. I don't tap but can relate to the excessive washing of hands. I loved how she achieved planting the grass despite her OCD.

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    1. Thanks, Fatima. Appreciate your comments. :)

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  32. Nice take on the prompt, Susan. A woman suffering from OCD. It's great how she still went ahead with the planting in spite of it, though.

    Deborah

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    1. Thanks, Deborah. Appreciate your feedback. :)

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.