Wednesday, 31 October 2018

ZOMBIE EYES - 100 word story

It's Halloween. Of course I had to write a Halloween story and this week's Friday Fictioneer's photo prompt was perfect for that.


PHOTO PROMPT © Jeff Arnold


ZOMBIE EYES

My cousin always gave me the creeps.
When she visited on Halloween, I wasn't happy.
Angie had arrived dressed like a zombie. The clothes were superfluous, she already had zombie eyes.
'You and Angie can go trick or treating,' said Mum.
We went knocking on doors.
Old Freddy shouted and sent us on our way, as I knew he would.
Angie didn't like that. Once home she sat and stared at Dad's chess set and I swear a piece moved.
We heard later that Old Freddy had died.
They said, from the look on his face he died of fright.

I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE




If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.



On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 


68 comments:

  1. Chess pieces as voudou dolls. Great!

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    1. She needed something to channel her intention. :)

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  2. Angie sounds like someone you might want to keep on the right side of. Topical take on the prompt.

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  3. Perfect creepy Halloween tale Susan, well done.

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    1. It was an easy one to write this week, Iain - those eyes...

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  4. Apt Halloween story, Susan.
    Died of shock because of her eyes and looks...
    Some people have the ability to move things with their eyes like magic!
    Have a great week!
    Queen In Quicksand - Anita

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    1. Angie's eyes are filled with magic and malice!

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  5. Ouch.. you really brought out a an evil story here.

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    1. Careful, they'll be all around us this evening!

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  6. No doubt, Angie is a force to be reckoned with...or not. Nicely done!

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    1. I think we all have to take care when we see someone with scary eyes. :)

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  7. And I'm sitting here wondering which chess piece moved...

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    1. He he - I'll leave that to your vivid imagination. :)

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  8. Dear Susan,

    Timely use of the prompt. It does lend itself to spooky, doesn't it? Cringe-worthy story. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. You chose the perfect photo for a Halloween story, Rochelle. :)

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  9. Creepyville Arizona!
    Nice one, Susan.

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    1. Yes, Angie's pretty creepy. Thanks for commenting. :)

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  10. Ha! Normally they just let your tyres down...Nice story, Susan

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    1. I know! I'm afraid Angie took it a bit far, Penny. )

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  11. Shudder! Well done, Susan. Perfect for this spookiest of nights...

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    1. Thanks, Dale. The story wrote itself as soon as I saw the photo prompt. :)

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  12. Great Halloween story! Thank you.

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  13. Angie is quite scary. I don't want her knocking on my door. Well done.

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    1. Ignore the 'trick or treaters' at your peril, Jo.

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  14. Third evil child, and I've only read 11 stories. Shivery stuff.

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    1. He he - sorry - blame it on the photo prompt, Linda.

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  15. Cute. I went with Halloween too - especially since I have never played chess.

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    1. Had to be done, didn't it?
      p.s. is that Jilly?

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  16. Little Angie doing black magic using chess pawns? Spooky!

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  17. Dead for a want of a few sweets. Reminds me of the "accidental" fatalities in The Omen.

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  18. A great Halloween tale! Not easy to convey just the right amount of creepiness in so few words. Well done!

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    1. Yes, it took quite a bit of editing. Glad it worked for you Darlene - thanks for commenting.

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  19. I've got a friend called Angie who plays chess - now I'm worried!

    Click to read my FriFic tale!

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  20. Creepy little girls with their zombie eyes. Nice one!

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  21. Sent chills down my spine.
    Good one :)

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  22. Not a cousin I would like to have! Well done, Susan.

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  23. you must have enjoyed writing this story as we did reading it. well done. :)

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    1. This story virtually wrote itself, and yes I did enjoy writing it. :)

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  24. So Angie executed poor old Freddy with her zombie eyes. If I had a cousin like Angie I'd hide under the bed. Trouble is, she'd probably be under there already. Well told. Jilly, Sugar on the Bee

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    1. Yes, it's tricky when the relatives turn out to have supernatural powers! Thanks for commenting, Jilly.

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  25. He should have just given them some candy, it is called "trick" or treat for a reason. I enjoyed your stooky tale!

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    1. Yes, the miserable curmudgeon (but he didn't deserve Angie's revenge).

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  26. "You can't hide those Zombie eyes..."
    And, yeah, some cousins are creepy.
    Susan, this made me want more. Imagine as they grow up alongside. Chlling

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    1. A continuation of the story? Now there's an idea, Stuart. Thanks for the feedback. :)

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  27. yep, great stuff, I love a supernatural thriller

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  28. Spooky stuff! You've got to watch out for the zombie eyed ones.

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    1. Yes, they're a dead give away.
      (See what I did there?)

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  29. Spooky stuff! You've got to watch out for the zombie eyed ones.

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  30. Now I get it why she gives you the creeps. I don't like Angie either. Great tale.

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    1. No, she's not a nice person. Thanks for commenting, Piyali.

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  31. Whoa...this is really spooky! I really liked your reference to her zombie costume as superfluous. She certainly doesn't need anything to make her more scary.

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    1. No, Angie is one scary child without any Halloween accoutrements! :)

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  32. Angie sounds like some piece of work. Poor Freddie

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    1. Yes, she's a scary, unpredictable, touchy child. Thanks for commenting, Michael.

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  33. This would be an excellent story to tell around a campfire!

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.