Wednesday 3 April 2019

THE PHOTOGRAPHER - 100 word story

This week's Friday Fictioneers photo led me to revisit and rewrite an old story. Hope you like it.



PHOTO PROMPT © Ronda Del Boccio


THE PHOTOGRAPHER


She trudged into the forest with her camera bags.
Up ahead, the stench of an unidentifiable carcass. Twilight upon her, she swiftly set up her shots.
A hyena yipped.
Excellent!
A photograph of a hyena scavenging on the carrion would be amazing. But twilight yielded to darkness. Damn! Too late. She left.
When, minutes later she smelt the familiar stench, she realised she had walked a circle.
Unseen in the murk, the hyena yipped again.
A lone hyena wasn’t a threat; they only attacked live prey that was hurt or vulnerable.
The hyena giggled softly as the night engulfed her.



I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 

- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 



60 comments:

  1. Nicely menacing. And I like it that we know before she does

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  2. Dear Susan,

    I wouldn't be so self-assured were I her. That last hyena giggle sounded ominous. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Yes, I'd say that someone disorientated in the dark could be a target.

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  3. Creepily well done, Susan!

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  4. OOo. Giggling hyenas. Raises goose bumps. Well done!

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    1. I've heard them at night and they really do sound like they're giggling. It's unnerving.

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  5. Oh this is downright creepy and scary. She should know hyenas are not to be toyed with

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    1. Especially when on foot in the dark! Thanks for commenting, Birgit.

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  6. Oh trouble. I hope she has a backup plan. Great progression from relaxed to creepy.

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    1. Yes, she could be in trouble. Thanks for the feedback.

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  7. Sounds like she's in big trouble. Hope she finds a way out of there and fast!

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    1. It doesn't look good, does it? Thanks for commenting, Adele.

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  8. Laughing Hyena means trouble.
    What pains photographers have to go through for such shots, especially wildlife photographers...
    Hope all is fine at the end.
    Have a great week :)

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    1. Patience and courage required! Thanks for commenting, Anita.

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  9. Never trust hyenas, I've seen The Lion King! Hope she knows her way home...

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    1. Only if she can find it in the dark, Iain. Thanks for the comment. :)

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  10. Oooh scary, 1 hyena or 10 hyenas I would not be comfortable in those woods!

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    1. He he - me neither! You have to know your limitations.

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  11. was the hyena giggling with delight? it must be so excited to find dinner tonight. :)

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    1. I've heard them at night making a helluva racket over a kill, so the giggling is probably linked to excitement.

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  12. What an ending! Just the right dose of dread! :D

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    1. Yes, sometimes a story works better if you leave the ending ambiguous.

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  13. Uh-oh. The hyena will eat well tonight!

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  14. Excellent piece, Susan, well-developed to heighten the tension and ultimate unease

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    1. Thank you for the feedback - appreciate it.

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  15. A good use of words. Well done!

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  16. A giggling hyena, what a terrifically scary description.

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    1. Yes, they do sound ominous when they do that!

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  17. She might not be hurt but she's definitely vulnerable if she can't find her way home. Well done.

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    1. Yes, it might depend on how bold the hyena is.

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  18. A foreboding feel to the ending. I think she's in trouble. Eerie tale!

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    1. Yes, I think she could be in trouble. Thanks for the comment, Brenda.

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  19. Oooohhh, that was creepy, and scary :-)

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    1. Yes, don't stay out after dark when predators are about.

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  20. Good build of tension in your story, Susan. Your main character needs some light. I hope she has her cell phone with her.

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    1. Or maybe her camera flash could scare the animal off? Thanks for the comment, Penny.

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  21. Great sense of rising tension. I could smell the stench. Like the line where the hyena giggled, waiting for its dinner I guess.

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    1. They're excitable animals who don't do stealth. Thanks for commenting.

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  22. Replies
    1. Thanks for the feedback, Sabio - appreciate it. :)

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  23. I liked that ending. The giggle makes it ominous and menacing. Nice one.

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    1. Thanks, Subroto. Glad to know you liked it. :)

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  24. It's easy to get lost in the woods during the day, let alone at night! What a chilling ending... a giggling hyena is scary indeed.

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    1. Yes, I think this photographer made some serious misjudgements. Thanks for commenting, Magarisa.

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  25. Oh no. She's in trouble. Love the lurking presence of the hyena. Great shift in atmosphere throughout the story to the scary ending.

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    1. Thanks for your feedback, margirene. Always good to know when a story works for a reader.

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  26. Excellently told. I would still be scared to death!

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Violet. I'd be scared too! :)

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  27. Oooo...this was creepy good!

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    1. Thanks, Dawn - I wanted this to be 'creepy good' so it's nice to know I achieved my aim. :)

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  28. Hmmmm. This does note bode well....

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  29. Ooh, that's an ominous ending.

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    1. Yep - she's in trouble. Thanks for the comment.

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.