Wednesday, 31 July 2019

CASTAWAY - 100 word story

The photo prompt for this week's Friday Fictioneers challenge led me to a deserted island and a stranded young yachtswoman. Never mind the buildings in the picture - it's the seaplane that caught my imagination.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

CASTAWAY

The interior of the uninhabited island was full of shadows, where the devils in her imagination lurked just beyond an exhalation of breath.
Elizabeth stood on the beach, facing seawards. The sun scattered diamonds over the rippling water. An offshore breeze whickered across her bruised body, lifting her tattered t-shirt.
The yacht lay in the shallows, stern tipped out of the water like a tease. Elizabeth stared at the capsized vessel until she felt dizzy, unable to absorb the impact of her situation.
The tinnitus in her ears coalesced into a roar as the seaplane banked and landed.
Elizabeth blinked.



I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 


- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been redirected to your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign into wordpress first. 
Please check and amend your settings. Thanks.






58 comments:

  1. Dear Susan,

    I could feel the breeze whickering...great word. I'm intrigued. This is a great lead in to a larger story, I think.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. Yes, this story is loosely based on another one I wrote some years ago.

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  2. The trouble with 100 words is it's hard to indicate the passage of time. She's rescued as soon as she's stranded. But in 1,000 words ....

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    1. Long enough to have become unnerved by the island's interior; short enough to still be staring at her yacht in shock. :)

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  3. I wonder if the seaplane is a rescue or something more sinister...

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    1. Oh, trust you to see another angle! Thanks for the comment - and suggesting the possibility of a different outcome. :)

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  4. This is a great story because she must be the sole survivor and she is lucky not to get eaten by Bart the bear(see my movie picks tomorrow:))

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    1. Ha ha - you've made me curious Birgit! Thanks for commenting.

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  5. This is wonderful and leaves us with many a question - always a good sign.

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  6. Lovely imagery! And her relief is so obvious, though not spelt out. Excellent take!

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    1. Thanks for the comments, Reena. Appreciate your feedback.

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  7. Good story Susan, I like the imagery.

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  8. An intriguing story. I'm ready to read more.

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  9. Really brilliant, love this; whickering, hope I never experience it!

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  10. Your description was excellent. You set-up the scene very well. Then, you left me wondering who's in the plane? Was it terrorists? Did they attack the yacht? Now, they're coming back for captives. Are they cannibals? Is Elizabeth going to be imprisoned in a sweatshop that makes volleyballs? Is it a volleyball? Is it Wilson? After saving Tom Hanks, did he dedicate his life to saving people who are stranded on islands? There are so many possibilities.

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    1. Ha ha - your comments left me breathless. So many possibilities indeed! :)

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  11. A fortunate survivor, or let's hope so.

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    1. What I love about writing these Friday Fictioneer's stories is how they can be interpreted differently. When I wrote this, I never imagined that anyone would think her rescuers were not benign. :)

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    2. Me neither. I was happy she was rescued. But that is truly the advantage of writing in a group. You get perspectives you never thought of.

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    3. Yes, indeed, Rekha. It can be a real eye opener. Thanks for commenting. :)

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    1. Thank you, Dawn. (Throwback from my travel writing days.)

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  13. This could be the end of her troubles...or just the beginning :-)

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    1. I see it as the end of her troubles, but who knows?

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  14. i enjoyed reading this story. well-crafted and outstanding imagery.

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    1. Thank you, plaridel - glad to know you enjoyed it.

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  15. A great use of 100 words. The photo looks like it was taken on the west coast of BC.

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    1. Thanks, Darlene. I have no idea where the photo was taken. :)

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  16. Nicely paced, Susan. Good one.

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  17. Interesting use of the prompt. Very descriptive.

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    1. Ah, two comments from you this week, Dawn! Thank you.

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  18. That was a quick rescue! A story to tell the kids rather than a decades-long ordeal.

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    1. Yes, perhaps a longer word count would have included the boating accident and her mayday call before the yacht capsized. :)

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  19. A happy ending or a worrying start to something sinister? Intriguing.

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    1. He he - you're not the only one who speculated on the ending. :)

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  20. A good story, well written, Susan. By the condition of her body and her clothes I'd say it was a rough landing. The seaplane seems to have spotted the wreckage. ---- Suzanne

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    1. Thanks, Suzanne. Yes, she didn't survive unscathed and there could be a variety of reasons how the plane found her.

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  21. Great description of a castaway hopefully being rescued. Love the last line!

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  22. Perfect set-up for a longer story. One wants to help Elizabeth :)

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    1. Yes, this could be fleshed out into a prologue, perhaps. Thanks for commenting, Linda. :)

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  23. This is SO good. I love the similes and metaphors, and the description, particularly "...lurked just beyond an exhalation of breath."

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging comments, Karen. :)

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  24. Wow I felt every breath, the water, the wind, the adrenaline. Well told

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    1. Thank you for the feedback - appreciate it. :)

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  25. Beautifully descriptive. Love the understated, ambiguous ending.

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  26. You create a vivid scene so well, of the place and for the dazed woman. I want to know what happens next. Well done.

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    1. He he - even I don't know what's going to happen next. Maybe I should turn this into a longer story, given the encouraging comments I've received. :)

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  27. I thought I'd commented before but obviously I hit the wrong button! Good story, Susan.

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.