Wednesday, 30 January 2019

LOST WORLD - 100 word story

This week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt made me think of remote areas and being lost in the landscape. And what would happen if you saw something unexpected?


PHOTO PROMPT © Renee Heath


LOST WORLD

They found a perfect camping spot.
'Let's picnic over there,' said Amanda.
The companions set up their chairs.
Amanda unpacked cheese sandwiches, coleslaw, cherry tomatoes and mouth-puckeringly salty olives.
'Here.' She gave Ray and Alice paper plates and plastic forks.
Alice bit into her sandwich and looked around. 'Now this is what I call remote. It feels like we're the last people on earth.'
'Or the first,' said Ray.
'Hey, yeah. Like we've discovered Conan Doyle’s Lost World,' said Amanda.
They exchanged goofy grins.
A scalp-raising screech reverberated. They looked up and blinked as the pterodactyl flapped straight towards them.  


I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 

- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 


80 comments:

  1. Pterodactyl? What else is in that lunch box besides very salty olives?

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    1. Now then, Neil. This is my attempt at a fantastical tale! :)

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  2. Many years ago, I read about "time pockets." For no apparent reason, some people supposedly vanish and reappear in another time. Wonder if this trio had such an experience.

    By the way, starting Saturday and continuing into next week (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday) I'll be posting a five-part story I wrote ten years ago. IF you have the time and the inclination to read it, I'd appreciate your feedback.

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    1. I like the idea of a 'time pocket'.
      I'll try to remember to look at your story. :)

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  3. You built the story to a great twist at the end. Very entertaining tale! 🙂

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  4. Dear Susan,

    This has a Twilight Zone feel to it. Quite the picnic. Love it!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. I liked the idea of changing an everyday thing into something weird. :)

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  5. Eek! What an end to a picnic! I hope they escaped.

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    1. He he - that might be down to who could run the fastest!

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  6. Wonder what pathway they took to get there. Let me know. I'll go the other way. ;)

    https://stuartnager.wordpress.com/2019/01/30/t-p-fridayfictioneers/

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    1. But maybe the unexpected is down lots of pathways, Stuart!

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  7. Now that's a whole lot different situation than when seagulls swoop in! Loved this, Susan.

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  8. Wonderful, I wish I could be there with them!

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  9. I think I hear the thump from a Tyrannosaurus heavy tail... time to run

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  10. Ha - that was a surprise ending - loved it!

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    1. That's what I love about writing fiction - you can do anything!

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  11. That might be a little too much like Lost Worlds. Better run.

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    1. I know that's what I would do in their position. :)

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  12. Pterodactyl - whats next?
    Interesting story - would love to read more about Amanda and her friend's adventure in this so called 'remote' place!

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    1. He he - who knows what might turn up in remote areas? Thanks for commenting, Kislaya.

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  13. well crafted ending. it was something i didn't expect. :)

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  14. Ha, time for a fun-filled adventure, for the pterodactyl that is:-)

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    1. He he - I'm not sure a pterodactyl would have a sense of fun. :)

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  15. Have they landed in Jurassic Park in search of last uninhabited remote land?

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    1. Perhaps - or somewhere similar. Thanks for the comment, Abhijit.

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  16. Oh, just throw it a sandwich and get over yourselves!

    Entertaining stuff, Susan

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    1. And if that fails, give it the whole picnic! :)

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  17. Let's hope it's a fan of salty olives, they need a diversion :-)

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    1. Yes! It's either run, or start chucking it titbits. :)

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  18. Loved it! A great use of 100 words. Using a picture as a prompt is such a good idea. I used it in my latest workshop with a grade 4 class.

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    1. Thanks, Darlene Yes, I'm finding these photo prompts really helpful - definitely worth a try. :)

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  19. EEEK! They should have known better than to picnic in Jurassic Park!

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    1. He he - or maybe they passed through a time portal?

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  20. They clearly didn't realise that pterodactyls love salty olives! I never take them with me when I'm camping.

    Click to read my FriFic tale!

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  21. loved the surprise ending to the picnic and they must have made a dash with cheese sandwiches in their hands.

    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-wigwam.html

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    1. He he - glad I surprised you. Thanks for commenting, Kalpana. :)

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  22. Great pace in this - all very innocent, with 'goofy grins' then a 'scalp-raising screech' to sweep us right into another dimension. Well told.

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  23. It's going to be an interesting trip, I feel.

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  24. On the plus size a pterodactyl is just a big chicken, so food won't be a problem if they don't get eaten first.

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    1. Ha ha - that's one way of looking at it! Thanks for the comment, Subroto.

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  25. I really like the way you start the story with the domestic - tasty picnic in a remote spot, then kerboom - the pterodactyl bursts in from pre-history. Nicely done. francineangelcakes

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    1. Thanks for the feedback, Francine. Glad you liked it. :)

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  26. Ha, quite the surprise! I hope they don't feel the ground start rumbling.

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    1. He he - now that would not be good! Thanks for the comment, Kelley.

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  27. Oh, they had to speak it out loud, didn't they? And there they are. They can be lucky they didn't imagine dragons, I guess. Great fun.

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    1. He he - case of 'careful what you wish for'. Thanks for commenting, Gah.

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  28. Time travel...or a movie...or something more? Such a great take on the prompt!

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  29. Just when the reader is happy in the picnic & pristine surroundings!
    Yikes! What a finish. Hope they are safe.

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    1. Their fate might depend on the pterodactyl's motive. :)

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  30. Magical ending to this piece, Susan. When Louis and Clark set out, many expected them to find dinosaurs on the other side of the rockies–– based on bones found around that time. The scenery lends itself to such imaginative expectations. Fun piece!

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    1. I didn't know that about the early explorers, Dawn. Thanks for your comments. :)

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  31. The fun ends as well as begins now! Liked the twist at the end. Nicely done, Susan.

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    1. Fun for the pterodactyl perhaps! Thanks for commenting, Rohan.

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  32. All very homely and then POW ! you hit us with the scary and unusual. Whatever next? Loved the easy flow of your words. It's something I'm always trying for. And we're going to visit Ireland in a couple of months. Can't wait.



    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Maz. Nice to hear you're visiting Ireland - it's a beautiful country. :)

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  33. Intriguing! Sounds like they've stepped into a dangerous world... hope they return to safety before it's too late!

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    1. It's certainly not what they were expecting. Thanks for the comment, magarisa. :)

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  34. That's interesting. So were they time-traveling?

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  35. Back to the future with a screech...Love the unexpected ending

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  36. I didn't see that coming!

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.