Wednesday, 13 February 2019

ILLICIT - 100 word story

Here's my Friday Fictioneers photo prompt story. I thought the building looked quite institutional, hence my subject matter.



PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll



ILLICIT

'Wait under my window. I'll throw it down.' Spider cradled his forbidden phone.
'Why don't I come and pick it up?' said JJ.
'You crazy?'
'Well.'
'How the hell would you get on my floor, JJ?'
'Um.'
'I'm in the Secure Wing, idiot.'
'Oh, yeah.'
'Look, you're allowed in the garden. Go outside after dinner. I'll throw it down.'
'Okay.' JJ was about to hang up. 'Uh, Spider, I don't know which window is yours.'
Spider sighed. 'I'll hang it on the outside of my window. Don't forget.'
'Okay.'
JJ tucked his phone away. Within minutes, he'd forgotten the conversation.




I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 

- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 



56 comments:

  1. I guess the world is always fresh and new for JJ

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    1. Yes, Spider couldn't have chosen a more unreliable inmate to help him. Thanks for commenting.

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  2. Dear Susan,

    I saw the movie Spider a long time ago. What a dark film that left an impression. So I'm wondering if your Spider is related? You called it right on the institution. I'm told it's a picture of an abandoned mental hospital in New Jersey. Nicely done in any event.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. How interesting. I'm not familiar with that movie - I just chose the name because it sounded like a good nickname for him. Thanks for the comment, Rochelle.

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  3. I think I can see why JJ ended up in there.

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  4. The accomplice is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I guess. :)

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  5. LOL, Spider is doomed and JJ is going to have no idea.

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    1. Thanks, Karen. I enjoyed creating these two characters. Spider seems to know that JJ is unreliable, and yet he thinks he can force JJ to perform!

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  6. I like your take on the prompt, and the way you have used that enigmatic object outside the window. That's a very neat humorous story - I like it!

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    1. Thanks, Penny. I couldn't figure out what the object was, so thought I'd let the reader decide. :)

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  7. They don't make a very good team. Time for plan B!

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    1. No, they're hopeless, aren't they? Thanks for commenting, Keith.

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  8. Plan gone wrong! JJ has amnesia? Or may be he has other plans :)
    Well narrated.
    Have a great week, Susan!
    The Familiar Face - Anita

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    1. Thanks, Anita. I saw JJ as mentally challenged when I created him rather than having sneaky motives. :)

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  9. This reminds me of a young(ish) man I know who has lost his short term memory. Not a happy situation for his family, but fortunately he isn't aware there's anything wrong with him.

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    1. That's interesting, as well as sad, Lizy. I think JJ has more than short term memory issues.

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  10. Aw, poor Spider, he's going to be sorely disappointed. JJ won't remember so it won't bother him. Very creative story, I love the characters you've created.

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    1. Thanks, Brenda. I 'saw' them very clearly when I began to write this story. Some characters just jump out at me in an instant. :)

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  11. Honestly, I think they both have issues ;-)
    I enjoyed your take, Susan.

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    1. Yes, each has their own problems! Thanks for commenting, Dale.

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  12. Wonder what the plan was anyway, since they both had phones. I don't think Spider planned this too well. Fun piece.

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    1. Don't expect logic with these two, Stuart. Thanks for commenting. :)

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  13. Oh My...how old are these 2? I think they have been inside for a very long time:)

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    1. Well, I'd say their problem is being somewhat mentally challenged, Birgit. :)

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  14. i feel sorry for these guys for finding themselves in such a hopeless situation.

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    1. That's another way of looking at it, plaridel. Thanks for commenting.

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  15. Forgetful JJ...Spider will wonder later about what went wrong in his instructions to JJ!

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    1. I suspect he already knows JJ might forget! Thanks for your comment, Kislaya.

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  16. Oh dear. Spider needs a new co-conspirator, methinks.

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    1. Yes, he does - but he has to find someone equally biddable. :)

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  17. Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment. It's interesting that a couple of you have called the story 'sad' - I didn't see as sad when I wrote it. Just goes to show how things we write can be interpreted differently.

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  18. With a memory like JJ's they'll have a new adventure every day which may just make their situation a bit more bearable. Great story telling.

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    1. He he - that's one way of looking at it. Thanks for commenting, Gah. :)

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  19. And so it will hang there forever.

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  20. Too bad. It looks like Spider will never even get the chance to slap the hell out of JJ for being such a screw-up.

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    1. No, he'll only be able to shout at him over the phone. :)

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  21. Beautiful set-up with a perfect ending, considering the type of place this seems to be. Nicely done :)

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  22. Short term memory loss is a bear. I havea feeling Spider will be waiting a long time. And its just as well, since whatever hes planning to do is,no doubt, illicit.��

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    1. Yes, I'd say Spider is always up to no good. Thanks for the comment, Andrea.

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  23. A very entertaining romp in la-la land. Well told. Two likeable rogues trying their best to get up to mischief.

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    1. Oh, good to know my intention worked because that's how I saw them too. Thanks for commenting, Margirene.

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  24. A fun read! Those two are so likable. :-)

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    1. Thanks, Magarisa - appreciate your feedback. :)

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  25. Alas... you have to find the right co-conspirator to succeed... wonder what it was he wanted to get out

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  26. Cute story. I've never seen the movie either, but enjoyed the imagery.

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  27. Spider's not the person to rely on. Poor JJ, he needs to find other help. Nice tale

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    1. He he - I think you may have got them the wrong way round, Michael! :)

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.