Wednesday, 11 April 2018

TSUNAMI - 100 Word Story

Hello again. I've returned from my travels and eager to return to the weekly Friday Fictioneers challenge: write a 100 word story using the photo prompt.

The prompt this week immediately reminded me of an article I wrote about a tsunami survivor. Here is a severely abridged version of Shiham's story.





TSUNAMI

Shiham heard an unusual noise. To his astonishment the sea looked like it was boiling. And the disturbance was heading his way.

Alarmed, Shiham started running. An eight foot wave swept him off his feet. He snagged a palm tree, but the surging, debris-filled water threatened his grip. He looked around wildly. A building was nearby. Could he reach it? He took a calculated risk and let the water recapture him.

Choking, ducking, half-swimming and blindly scrabbling for his life, Shiham reached the building. From the roof he could hear screams above the battering water. His salty tears went unremarked.




I hope you enjoyed the story and I look forward to reading your comments. 

If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.

On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 



62 comments:

  1. Great drama to this, Susan

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  2. Thanks, Neil. The full account of what happened to this young man is poignant.

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  3. Brilliantly written Susan, your words swept me along with him.

    A-Z of My Friend Rosey!

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  4. "His salty tears. . ." In all that other saltwater, yes, they would go unremarked. Wonderful little snippet of a longer story.

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    1. Thank you, Linda. I will never forget my interview with Shiham.

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  5. Relentless - I caught the desperation.

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    1. The Asian tsunami was such a huge event and affected so many people.

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  6. I too saw the aftermath of a natural disaster in the prompt, although it took me a different direction. Great drama and action and a powerful last line.

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    1. Thanks, Iain. It's good to know the last line worked for you.

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  7. Dear Susan,

    I found myself choking and gasping for breath. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. I wanted to convey how terrifying Shiham's experience was, so I'm glad to know my description worked for you.

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  8. You tell the tale very dramatically, Susan. Well done.

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  9. Thanks, Penny. I shed more than a few tears over that awful tsunami.

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  10. So glad to have you back, Susan. And with a wallop of a story that totally grabbed me. I could feel his desperation and was straining for him to hold on.

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    1. Thank you for the lovely welcome back message, Dale. I'm glad my story grabbed you! :)

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  11. Superbly written, Susan. I missed your stories . So glad you are back.
    Best wishes,
    Moon

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    1. Thank you for welcoming me back, Moon. It's comments like yours that inspire me to keep writing!

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  12. Believe it or not, I have actually wondered in the past whether or not I would have the nerve to do something like that, to briefly let nature have its way with me as I work toward some sort of salvation.

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    1. Hmm, well I suppose I've been in scuba diving situations where I've had to surrender to the current, but really I prefer to stay in control!

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  13. I could see this so vividly. Glad he made it!

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    1. Thanks, Karen. It's good to know that I created a visual story!

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  14. Powerful story – and sadly very true for some.

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    1. Thanks, Patsy. Yes, this really happened. :(

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  15. A powerful story about a terrible disaster, and one man trying to survive it.

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Anurag. He survived against the odds.

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    1. Thank you for commenting, Lisa. It's a powerful subject, isn't it?

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  17. i felt i was with him with the tension building up and all. glad he survived. well done.

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    1. Thanks, Plaridel. It all happened so quickly - the situation dictated the build up of tension.

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  18. Such a terrifying scene. I can imagine that tricky decision - hang on to the tree or take a chance.

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    1. When I talked to him, I realised how brave his decision had been to let go of that tree, Alistair.

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  19. He let the water recapture him. Excellent use of words to create an indelible image.

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  20. Thanks, Liz. I gave it a lot of thought when I first wrote this, so it's good to know that my efforts were worthwhile. :)

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  21. Great description of a terrifying event.

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  22. Thanks for commenting, Clare - much appreciated. :)

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  23. Powerful descriptions that captures his helplessness. Very well done.

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    1. Thank you - I'm glad those descriptions worked for you.

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  24. Well, at least he had the sense to know what was happening and not see it as an opportunity for a selfie. He tried, and that's all any of us can do.

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    1. Too true, Ann. I did take his photo for the article - but that was months after the event. :)

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  25. Great piece! I felt as if I were running to the building, too!

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    1. Thanks, Lucy. It's great to know that my description worked for you.

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  26. Powerful writing, exciting action, and a heartbreaking end. There's the dilemma between saving oneself and not being able to help others, having to watch them die. I can't even imagine what I'd do in that situation.

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Gah. I know what you mean - let's hope we never have to face decisions like that!

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  27. You captured panic perfectly in this, sprinkled with a wee bit of confusion. Nicely done. I'm not really anonymous, I just have a hard time getting my URL to connect to your blog. Alicia

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  28. Thank you, Alicia. Your blog name is showing - I'm afraid I don't know enough about blogs to figure out why you had trouble connecting.

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  29. Vivid imagery. Great write.

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    1. Thank you, Yarnspinner - and a big thank you for supplying the photo!

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  30. Powerful piece. I could feel the desperation and helplessness of Shiham, which you have captured really well.

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    1. Thank you, Jaya - I'm glad the story worked for you.

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  31. You captured the sheer terror briliantly

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    1. Thanks for your feedback, Michael - really appreciate it.

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  32. I felt his panic as I was reading this. The last line really tugs at the heartstrings.

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  33. Thank you for your comment, Magarisa - much appreciated!

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  34. It takes courage as well as luck to survive one of those things. I'm glad the boy had the nerve.

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  35. Yes, he showed clear thinking in the face of a terrifying situation, Ann. Thanks for commenting.

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  36. A terrifying situation to be in - unimaginable. The tension came through well in those short, snappy sentences. Well done Susan

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    1. Thanks for your feedback, Lynn. Good to know that I achieved the tension I wanted to achieve.

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  37. That was a terrifying life snippet that someone could have gone through in a tsunami. You've portrayed the desperation of Shiham very well.
    Good to have back Susan.
    Thanks,
    Norma.

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  38. Thanks for the welcome back - and your feedback, Norma. It's good to be back!

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