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| PHOTO PROMPT © CEAyr SUNNYVIEW CARE HOME
“He’s dropped his
trousers again,” someone shouted.
Lillian sighed.
Alfie blocked the
television, bare-arsed. Elderly ladies fussed and clucked. Jany came
running.
“He’s gone
doo-lally,” said Lillian.
Jany pulled Alfie’s
pants up. He shuffled sideways like a startled crab.
“Keep still before
you fall and break a hip,” said Lillian.
Alfie whimpered.
“Hush, Lillian.
You’re scaring him.”
Why am I here? thought
Jany, irritation mingled with compassion.
Why am I here? thought Alfie, confusion mingled with fear.
Why am I here?
Lillian's anger with her husband mingled with despair.
And Alfie's book sat like
an accusation.
I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments.
If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE
If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.
On a final note - I always attempt to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been redirected to your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign into wordpress first.
Please check and amend your settings. Thanks.
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Wednesday, 11 September 2019
SUNNYVIEW CARE HOME - 100 word story
The book and glasses offered for this week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt triggered a return to a story I wrote some years ago. Here's my re-write.
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The book seems all that remains of him. So sad
ReplyDeleteYes, he's probably in no shape to read books any longer. Thanks for commenting, Neil.
DeleteWell-crafted tale of a tragic late-life situation.
ReplyDeleteThank you - and thank you for a great photo prompt.
DeleteA sad description of the life of many. Well written.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think it's hardest for the partner when they see their other half losing their faculties.
DeleteA farce laced with tragedy. Funny and touching at the same time. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteI think it's important to show light and shade. Glad it worked.
DeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law is in the latter stages of Alzheimer's and in a care facility. I could clearly see these people. Your story is sensitively written and poignant. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle. I took the idea from observations of my visits to my own mother when she was in a care home.
DeleteVery well done. The "Why am I here?" part brought a whole other dimension to the story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback, Trent. Glad to know it worked for you.
DeleteWell done. Whatever happens, it's important to keep your pants up.
ReplyDeleteWell done.
Best wishes,
Rowena
Thanks, Rowena. That particular part of the story came from a real care home scenario.
DeleteI loved the way you structured this, and the sensitive way you handled it. Well done, Susan.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your feedback, Sandra - appreciate it.
DeleteSusan, I did a year of internship in the social services end of a nursing home while earning my master's degree. What you describe here is so vividly true to life. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda. I used my observations from when I used to visit my mother in a care home, but it's good to know that this reads true.
DeleteAlso-- I have no idea how to alter my setting to enable you to comment on my blog. Can you point me in the right direction? Or anyone else who is reading this is welcome to advise. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteLinda, I use a 'blog signature' every time I comment on someone's blog so that they just have to click it to be taken to my blog. I was given the code on how to do it as follows:
DeleteSusan A Eames at
< a href = ” http colon 2 forward slashes then insert your blog name “ > Travel, Fiction and Photos < forward slash followed by letter a >
My first attempt just printed my blog signature. I've put in more spaces and described the symbols so that you can see the formula. Hope it works this time!
I feel compassion for each one of these individuals. Hoping a change comes for all. Maybe a new activities director that can get them outside...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback, Jade. It was my intention to try to show each character's perspective, so it's good to know it worked.
DeleteI love where you went with this!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dawn - appreciate that!
DeleteYou had me hooked with the first line. I smiled all the way through until I realized what a sad story this is. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly the experience I wanted to give the reader!
DeleteI love how you did this, Susan.
ReplyDeleteIt brought the whole thing to life.
Wonderful!
Thanks, Dale. It's quite a challenge to get these tiny stories to work effectively, so it's always good to get feedback. :)
DeleteThis is far too near the knuckle for comfort!
ReplyDeleteWell I guess that means it's believable - but it isn't my intention to upset anyone!
DeleteNot upset, Susan, but it brought back a few uncomfortable memories of my father's last months.
DeleteThe poor chap, funny but in quite a tragic way.
ReplyDeleteHumour in tragedy!
DeleteExcellent! So much said in so few words.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Darlene. Appreciate the feedback.
DeleteYou create a lively encounter, funny and poignant.An inventive take on the photo. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Good to know my intention worked.
Deletelike they say, we season in time and time to reason. it's the cycle of life.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad commentary on the lives of so many elderly. Well written take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteI know, it's luck of the draw how our lives pan out. Thanks for commenting, Russell.
DeleteA bittersweet slice of life. You got the comedy and the tragedy working at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI think this is how life works - tragedy and comedy intertwined. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteAn amusing take on a situation I'd rather not be involved in. Beautifully written Susan.
ReplyDeleteMy story is a but click away!
Me neither, Keith! Thanks for the kind comment.
DeleteConfirms the belief that we are what we leave behind. So sad.
ReplyDeleteIt can be sad for some couples, but thankfully not all elderly folk suffer this fate. Thanks for commenting, Helen.
DeleteLife is a dance of joy and fear, tragedy and hope. You captured this so well with satire. I feel for Alfie the most.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback, Fatima. Glad the story worked well for you.
DeleteThis reminds me of my mother the first year at the nursing home before she got worse.... she had the same book with her, and her glasses... each day she started to read it from the beginning and she never finished it.
ReplyDeleteThat's so sad, Bjorn. My own mother didn't even attempt books by the time she moved into care.
DeleteLiving in Florida I see a great many families with this type of struggle.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote it in a very sensitive and explicit way. Well done, Susan.
Isadora ��
Thank you, Isadora - appreciate your feedback.
DeleteA good story which sadly shows dementia realistically in one of its many forms. My mother had Alzheimer's. Well done Susan. --- Suzanne
ReplyDeleteThank you, Suzanne. Isn't it sad to see a loved one deteriorate mentally? It seems worse somehow than physical deterioration. When my mother finally passed away I was shocked at myself for my lack of grief - until I realised that I'd already done my grieving for the woman I once knew while she was alive physically but lost mentally.
Delete