This week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt made me decide to tell you a story about someone who is physically and mentally going around in circles.
Round
and Round in Circles
Another
day, another week. He trailed in circles from embassy to police
station. Empty promises. Empty platitudes. Yet, childlike, he grasped
at their assurances.
Searching
for clues, he picked his way along ripped pavements. A street-food
stall emitted enticing aromas strong enough to mask the pungent
drains. A beggar whimpered, as limp with defeat as he.
And
every night he stifled beneath a mosquito net, listening to the
scuff-scuff of a rusty fan.
Bewildered,
he asked again and again: how can someone vanish so completely?
Trapped
by despair he waited for the city to yield the secret of her
disappearance.
I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments.
If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE
If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.
On a final note - I always attempt to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been redirected to your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign into wordpress first.
Please check and amend your settings. Thanks.
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Such a despairing story, Susan, and so well written.
ReplyDeleteIt's loosely based on a true story I'm afraid.
DeleteRound and round. Well-captured, Liz
ReplyDeleteI meant Susan, of course
ReplyDeleteOf course you did. (I've made that sort of slip too so I know how easy it is to do.) Thanks for commenting, Neil. :)
DeleteWell charted progress from frustration to desperation
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback - appreciate it. :)
DeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteHis despair and frustration are tangible. I hope the mystery can be solved. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
A missing person: everyone's worst nightmare. Thanks for the feedback, Rochelle.
DeleteGosh, his laboured efforts come across so clearly. I feel his exhaustion and frustration.
ReplyDeleteAh, good to know my descriptions worked for you, Helen.
DeleteLove the intrigue in this - who is she? what happened to her? Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteWho knows? Thanks for commenting, Iain.
DeleteVery well written, Susan. The despair is tangible. I can't imagine the horror of not knowing what has happened to someone...
ReplyDeleteDoesn't bear thinking about, does it? And yet it happens all the time.
DeleteHow very sad, how very well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you - appreciate your comments.
Deletep.s. your settings don't allow me to comment on your wonderful stories because I don't have a wordpress blog. Could you amend them?
What a sorrowful situation he's found himself in. Knowing what happened would be bad enough, but not knowing? A great little tale Susan.
ReplyDeleteHere's my tale!
It's dreadful to contemplate. (Perhaps I should have made the story more upbeat.)
DeleteIt sounds like a hopeless task, no-one wants to help. Great imagery!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback - much appreciated. :)
Deleteshe must be really special for him not giving up his quest. best of luck to him.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he knows what else to do. Thanks for commenting.
DeletePoor guy! I hope he finds her soon!
ReplyDeleteYes, hope the outcome is good. Thanks, Russell.
DeleteLosing a loved one who simply vanishes has got to be a living hell. You capture that ongoing disturbance very well.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jade. It's something I hope never to experience first hand!
DeletePunchy final line. Leaves me wanting more.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tannille. My work is done. :)
DeleteYou have created such a sense of despair that it's almost tangible. Beautiful writing.
ReplyDeleteGosh, thanks for the lovely feedback, Linda.
ReplyDeletep.s. I still can't log into your blog. When I click on your name the page only tells me about the blogs you follow, rather than your own.
This is so well done. The roundabout of a search with no answers and the feeling of despair from the character with sadness and surprise in an ongoing circle. Clever.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Laurie - appreciate the feedback.
DeleteRipped pavements, enticing aromas from a food stall and pungent drains... what a strong sense of place you've created. Just as the scent of delicious food covers up the stench from the drains, the assurances he receives masks his despair. Heartbreaking and well-written.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback, Magarisa. I took the descriptive elements from time spent in Bangkok and Phnom Penh. :)
DeleteYou have created quite the scene. It acts as an excellent frame for your protagonists desperation and despair. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you - this is the sort of writing I find challenging but also satisfying.
DeleteWhat a nightmarish situation... waiting for something at least.
ReplyDeleteYes, he must wait and hope because the alternative is unthinkable.
Delete