This week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt supplied by Sarah Potter led me down a potentially spooky path.
House shadows
The light drained from the sky like someone opening a vein. Our world turned monochrome. I shivered.
'You okay?' said Robbie.
Shadowy movements in the garden.
'It's just the wind,' said Robbie.
The night thickened with cold.
'They got bears hereabouts?'
Robbie huffed. 'You crazy?'
'Well.'
'We need firewood.' He went outside.
Minutes passed. I finally cracked open the door. 'Robbie?'
A thump.
'Robbie? Are you messing with me?'
A barnacled shadow moved on the edge of vision. I heard saw-toothed voices and slammed the door shut. Heavy footsteps on the deck.
I waited for the door to open.
I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields - her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page. On a final note - I always attempt to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been redirected to your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign into wordpress first. Please check and amend your settings. Thanks. |
Saw toothed voices! Yikes!
ReplyDeleteYep - yikes, indeed! :)
DeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteI'm yelling "don't open that door!" Ominous and well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
If it was me, I wouldn't open it!
DeleteYikes!
ReplyDeleteDid I scare you? :)
DeleteSaw-toothed voices cannot be a good thing! Nice one Susan!
ReplyDeleteNo, I wouldn't want to hear them.
DeleteScary! What happened?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteThe scariest thing about horror stories is the not knowing. :)
DeleteFirst I was telling Robbie not to go out. Now I'm telling her to block the door! I really liked saw-toothed voices, as well!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback, Dale.
DeleteSo creepy and nerve-wracking!
ReplyDeleteYep, I wouldn't want to be her, waiting for that door to open.
DeleteExcellent from the first line to the end! You set it up up well.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Darlene. Appreciate your feedback.
DeleteThis is really scary
ReplyDeleteThat was my intention, so it's good to know I achieved my aim, Liz. :)
DeleteSaw toothed voices... that's a phrase to reckon with.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sandra. I have no idea how I came up with that one. The subconscious is a strange beast.
DeleteNow that is really spooky! Absolutely brilliant Susan.
ReplyDeleteMy yarn!
Thanks, Keith. I love to write a spooky tale now and then.
DeleteSounds like Robbie was wearing a red shirt in best Star Trek traditions!
ReplyDeleteNo idea what that means, CE, but thanks for commenting. :)
Deletepoor robbie, i think he's either dead or has turned into a monster.
ReplyDeleteThat's the nature of open-ended horror stories: the reader has to draw their own conclusions. :)
DeleteYikes. No way that door is going to stay closed. RUN!!
ReplyDeleteTerrifying dilemma - it might be Robbie and the voices might be her overactive imagination. Only one way for her to find out...
DeleteYeek! Hide under the bed :-)
ReplyDeleteHa ha - at the very least! :)
ReplyDeleteA horrifying wait for the door to open. Scary tale indeed!
ReplyDeleteYes, I wouldn't like to be in her shoes, Brenda.
DeleteI'm getting the feeling waiting for the door to open is a bad call. Maybe bolting the door and running to the car if she has access to the garage from inside the house.
ReplyDeleteI love the title. It's just so literal.
But she's frozen in fear and can't move. :)
DeleteCreepy. I wanted to read on...
ReplyDeleteHe he, you know what they say: keep 'em waiting, keep 'em wanting...
DeletePerfect scene for a horror movie!
ReplyDeleteHe he. I need to get out more. Thanks for commenting, Magarisa.
DeleteSounds ominous, Robbie's a gonna and all she can do is wait for the inevitable. Well written
ReplyDeleteOr Robbie could be playing a trick on her. Thanks for feedback, Michael.
DeleteThis could either be a scary, hair-raising outcome or a really funny practical joke, I'm really hoping it's the latter. And then she can playfully punch him afterwards.
ReplyDeleteHa ha - if someone played a practical joke like that on me, I think I'd punch him painfully rather than playfully! :)
DeleteWell done! Poor Robbie (presumably)! Hopefully she'll get her wits about her.
ReplyDeleteEither way, let's hope she gets out of this one intact. Thanks for commenting, Sascha.
Delete