Do let me know if you enjoy the resulting story.
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| Photo Prompt: Sandra Crook |
LEANING ON A LAMP-POST
Eddie leant on the
lamp-post opposite the park bench so that he’d see her passing by.
If she was unattractive he'd ditch his rose and skedaddle.
A beautiful woman
sashayed towards the bench. She was carrying a matching rose. Eddie's
heart leapt. Should he wave?
He looked down,
controlled a giggle and swiped his sweaty palms on his thighs. Be
cool and sophisticated. Let her do the work. He took a breath, composed the sexy
smile he’d been practising and looked up.
Her rose lay abandoned on the bench.
Her rose lay abandoned on the bench.
Incredulous, Eddie
smoothed his comb-over as he watched her retreating back.
I hope you enjoyed my story and look forward to reading your comments.
If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories you can find them listed HERE
If you wish to join in you'll find the all information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
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Dear Susan,
ReplyDeleteNow I'll have that song running through my head. I loved that song, although my memory of the song was by Herman's Hermits.
I feel bad for you man on the bench. Although his thoughts were on the arrogant side and could send me into arias about men. So biting my tongue and telling you it was a good story and thank you for the ear worm. ;)
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle. I think it was no more than he deserved!
ReplyDeleteA taste of his own medicine, hopefully it's a lesson learned. Like Rochelle, that song is going round my head now!
ReplyDeleteSorry, Ian - but since I've been humming it all day I thought I'd share it with the rest of you! :)
DeleteIt amazes me how many men I've met who are just like this. The girl has to be perfect. The guy? Totally self unaware.
ReplyDeleteAnd it gets worse as we get older! :)
DeleteThat is so true!
Delete'...until a certainly little lady comes by ...' and does a runner! Like how you switched about there, making the dumper the dumpee. Great idea
ReplyDeleteHe he, thanks Lynn - it just seemed right that he should get a taste of his own medicine!
Deletei guess she wasn't into him. better luck next time. :)
ReplyDeleteNo, Eddie wasn't in her league.
DeleteWell, they do say that turnabout is fair play...
ReplyDeleteCount me as one more reader who's hearing the Herman's Hermits version of that song now. My older sister had a crush on Peter Blair Denis Bernard Noone, better known as Herman. In fact, it's her onetime crush that planted his full name so firmly in my mind over fifty years ago!
Nice story, great twist.
Ha ha - well I remember Herman's Hermits, but confess I don't remember them doing that cover. I don't blame your sister - he was quite cute if memory serves!
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlhLnooyUU8
DeleteAh, thanks for the link! There's a touch of the George Formby about his voice too. :) :)
Delete
ReplyDeleteEliciting so many different emotions/ reactions from the reader in a 100 word story is remarkable, indeed.
He got what he truly deserved but then again may be it's really about his age.
His age and his delusions perhaps?
DeleteHe still won't learn his lesson, guys like him never do :-)
ReplyDeleteYou might be right, Anurag. :)
DeleteHa ha, looks like she had the same plan in mind :-)
ReplyDeleteI think she ditched her rose when she spotted him leaning against that lamp-post. :)
DeleteLoved this. The comb over said it all at the end there. And I love the play on 'do unto others as you would be done by'.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sandra. Yes, the comb over says everything you need to know about Eddie.
DeleteOh me, oh my, I hope the little lady comes by! There she is...there she goes!
ReplyDeleteClick to read my FriFic!
Yep - that'll teach him! :)
DeleteOh, that song. Don't we give our ages away? I thought I would be one of the only ones to remember it
ReplyDeleteGosh, you nearly made me spill my coffee! You don't have to be from George Formby's era to know that song. :)
Delete"Let her do the work." There was no coming back from there. :D
ReplyDeletePrecisely! He got what he deserved.
DeletePoor Eddie. He waited a bit too long and lost out. Maybe she spotted him and left in a hurry. His ego much have been punctured. I hope he knows better next time. Good writing, Susan. :) --- Suzanne
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Suzanne and don't waste your pity on Eddie. He needed a wake-up call. :)
DeleteGiggling, with sweaty palms and a comb-over? What an unpleasant picture you paint of poor Eddie! Nicely done, Susan.
ReplyDeleteHe he - he's not very attractive that's for sure which is why she dumped her rose!
DeleteYeah, the comb-over would have had me going in the other direction :) I married a guy who was bald at 24. Glad he didn't try to cover it up!
ReplyDeleteIt's not a good look, is it? :)
Delete'Smoothed his comb-over' says it all! Brilliant - it took me completely by surprise.
ReplyDeleteOh, good! I'm glad I surprised you. :)
DeleteOh my! What a wonderful character you created here. I, too, like the image of the "comb-over" and imagining him practicing his sexy smile. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jan. I think creating characters is one of the most enjoyable things about writing fiction. :)
DeleteHe never even considered it...😂😂
ReplyDeleteNo, he was either very arrogant or very deluded!
DeleteI read an article once by a Grade 8 teacher whose class erupted one day after a remark by one of the girls. The boys accused the girls-- you don't want us unless we look like some movie star. The girls retorted with similar accusations. So this thing, "It's all about looks" starts young and definitely influences both genders.
ReplyDeleteI think humans are hard-wired to be attracted to attractive people. But we also can and do become attracted to a person's other qualities too, given time.
DeletePeople in glass houses and all that... Guess he had it coming for him.
ReplyDeleteYes, he did, didn't he? :)
DeleteWonderful story. He didn't suspect it could go both ways - dumped before starting.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Irene. Ah, the disillusionment of men!
DeleteHaha - loved it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dahlia. It's always good to know if I've written something entertaining. :)
DeleteOoh, harsh! Made me laugh though!
ReplyDeleteGood - glad I made you laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteOh! This made my blood boil! In a good way. Good on the lady with the rose.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think she was right to dump her rose, Alicia.
DeleteHa... I wonder if he understood the message. Maybe being bald would be better...
ReplyDeleteOh yes, infinitely better - something all men should remember! :)
DeleteVery entertaining story! I could imagine the scene occuring in front of me. Eddie felt a little too highly of himself and the woman taught him a lesson hopefully. =)
ReplyDeleteBrenda, I'm delighted to know that you were entertained by my story.
DeleteLife! The dating game's not always fun. :) :) Best wishes to you for the festive season.
ReplyDeleteNo, and I'm heartily grateful that dating is a distant memory! Best wishes to you too, Jo.
DeleteGreat twist, he got what he deserved, the biter bit
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed! Glad you enjoyed it, Michael.
DeleteThe mating dance. Lovely take.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Like how you describe it as 'the mating dance'.
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! Wonderful picture of someone with a higher opinion of himself than deserved. I guess he will be leaning on that lamppost for a while then.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's no more than he deserves!
DeleteHa! Brilliant! It made me think of that expression 'what goes around, comes around'.
ReplyDeleteYes indeed, Joanne. Glad you liked the story. :)
DeleteBrilliant, good for her!
ReplyDeleteHe he - I'm sure she'll find a suitable suitor in due course. :)
DeleteThis makes me think of internet dating which I did for a time 10 years ago. Never again. This is why.
ReplyDeleteI imagine any sort of blind dating is fraught with disappointments, Dawn!
DeleteHe he - fun story!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it! :)
ReplyDelete