Wednesday, 13 June 2018

JUST A BIRD - 100 word story

This week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt of a bird at the window (a partridge, I think) prompted a story about our interactions with wildlife.

PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays



JUST A BIRD

The little girl looked at the bird.
The bird looked at the little girl.
'Hey, bird.'
....
The drought was sapping her strength. The humans had food. And she needed to feed her slowly starving chicks.
She stared at the child, willing her to understand.
....
Maddie gazed at the bird and frowned. It looked skinny. She picked up her father's jar of fishing worms and gently tipped some of the contents onto the window sill.
'Thank you,' said the bird.
'You're welcome,' said Maddie.
Her mother called from another room. 'Who are you talking to, Maddie?'
'Just a bird.'


I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE 




If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.

On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 



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54 comments:

  1. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields13 June 2018 at 11:20

    Dear Susan,

    What a delightful, feel-good story. I loved the bird willing her to understand.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 11:51

      Thanks, Rochelle. I don't know about birds, but my dog can certainly make me understand what she wants when she stares intently at me! :)

      Delete
  2. Neil MacDonald13 June 2018 at 11:27

    I liked the matter-of-fact way the talkng bird is dealt with

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  3. Anita Sabat13 June 2018 at 12:19

    That's an understanding child and a needy bird.
    Glad the child helped. Droughts are tough...
    Here's mine-
    Stranger Outside?- Anita

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 16:00

      I chose a child character because I think children are more open to suggestion - and acceptance of unusual happenings! Thanks for commenting, Anita.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous13 June 2018 at 12:40

    I loved the interaction here. Very well conveyed. Jilly, Sugar on the Bee.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 16:01

      Thanks, Jilly - glad the structure worked for you.

      Delete
  5. Keith's Ramblings13 June 2018 at 12:46

    What a tweet tale! Delightful Susan.

    Click to read my FriFic tale

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    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 16:01

      Ha ha... groan! Thanks for commenting, Keith. :)

      Delete
  6. Iain Kelly13 June 2018 at 13:53

    Such a lovely story, if only everyone did take a little more care of those around them, birds included.

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    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 16:02

      Yes, we all need to be open to what's going on around us, Iain.

      Delete
  7. Trent McDonald13 June 2018 at 14:01

    What a nice little girl. Hopeful the drought ends soon and mama partridge can feed the chicks without Maddie's help.

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    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 16:03

      Thanks, Trent. Yes, I rather like Maddie too!

      Delete
  8. Penny Gadd13 June 2018 at 15:28

    I like your story very much. One key detail for me is the way you treat the little girl's talking to the bird, and the bird's replies, in a totally straightforward manner, as though it's an everyday occurrence. That makes the whole story very real to me.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 16:04

      Thanks for your feedback, Penny. It's always good to know when something I try in a story works. :)

      Delete
  9. The Silver Fox13 June 2018 at 17:47

    That was fun.

    If I were a talking bird, but wanted to keep that fact a secret for whatever reason, I'd probably allow myself to talk to young children. No one ever believes them when they insist that something fantastic is true. It's kind of like the situation between Mr. Ed and Wilbur Post, although Wilbur was an adult.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 18:03

      Yes, children's magical experiences are usually put down to over-active imaginations! Thanks for commenting.
      (I used to love watching Mr Ed.)

      Delete
  10. Linda13 June 2018 at 18:04

    The bird willing her to understand; her willingness to give it food--lovely.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 18:25

      I'd like to think this is a scenario that could happen. Thanks for commenting, Linda. :)

      Delete
  11. C. E. Ayr13 June 2018 at 18:54

    Really cool tale, sweet and plausible for children of all ages.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 21:18

      And hopefully almost plausible for adults! :)
      Thanks for commenting, CE.

      Delete
  12. brudberg13 June 2018 at 20:55

    Love it... i think it takes a child to understand... not only the early bird gets the worm if there's a little girl at hand

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    1. Susan A Eames13 June 2018 at 21:19

      Yes, this story wouldn't have worked if I'd made the protagonist an adult. Thanks for commenting, Bjorn.

      Delete
  13. lisarey1990@gmail.com13 June 2018 at 23:32

    A really lovely read.

    ReplyDelete
  14. plaridel14 June 2018 at 03:19

    wouldn't it be nice if the bird turned into a genie? :)

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 10:01

      Now that would make an interesting, longer story!

      Delete
  15. Aesop Clerk14 June 2018 at 07:45

    A modern fairy tale. Very well crafted.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 10:01

      Yes, I suppose it is. Thanks for your kind feedback.

      Delete
  16. Anurag Bakhshi14 June 2018 at 07:50

    So utterly lovely :-)

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  17. draliman14 June 2018 at 08:08

    What a lovely story and such a lovely little girl :-)

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    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 10:02

      Thanks, Alistair - good to know you enjoyed reading it.

      Delete
  18. Sandra Crook14 June 2018 at 09:28

    That left me feeling all warm and cosy. Lovely.

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    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 10:02

      Yes, nothing like a feel-good story, is there? Thanks for commenting, Sandra.

      Delete
  19. Gah Learner14 June 2018 at 14:49

    That is such a sweet story. I love it. Children so often have compassion where grown-ups have lost it. The bird is a California Quail btw.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 15:30

      Thanks, Gah. Yes, children are much more receptive than adults.
      A Californian Quail? Thanks for the info - I wasn't sure if it was a partridge or not. :)

      Delete
  20. Alicia L. Jamtaas14 June 2018 at 15:12

    Thanks for the kindness in your story. It made my morning.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 15:31

      Ah, that's lovely to know, Alicia. Thanks for your comment. :)

      Delete
  21. Dale14 June 2018 at 16:35

    I love this, Susan.
    I love the unspoken (yet heard) request...

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 June 2018 at 22:08

      Thanks for the feedback, Dale - glad you liked it. :)

      Delete
  22. liz young15 June 2018 at 07:44

    Absolutely beautiful story x

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    1. Susan A Eames15 June 2018 at 10:58

      Thank you for your lovely comment, Liz - much appreciated.

      Delete
  23. Joseph E Lillie16 June 2018 at 14:32

    I love the fantasy of this story. That little girl is something special!

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames16 June 2018 at 15:55

      Glad it worked for you! Thanks for your lovely feedback, Joseph.

      Delete
  24. Russell16 June 2018 at 23:14

    What a compassionate child. Great story, Susan.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames17 June 2018 at 10:56

      Thanks for commenting, Russell - appreciate it. :)

      Delete
  25. Ellie Scott18 June 2018 at 12:42

    You captured the little girl's innate compassion brilliantly. Lovely story!

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames18 June 2018 at 17:18

      Thanks for your comment, Ellie - much appreciated!

      Delete
  26. Lynn Love18 June 2018 at 13:40

    So lovely Susan, and so lovely the little girl could understand the bird's needs. Lovely writin

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  27. Susan A Eames18 June 2018 at 17:19

    Thanks for commenting, Lynn. Always good to know when someone has enjoyed one of my stories. :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sascha Darlington19 June 2018 at 20:57

    Nice. It would be wonderful if we could communicate with animals and them with us...although I'd swear my Scout seems to understand me fine. :)

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    1. Susan A Eames19 June 2018 at 21:20

      Is Scout your pet? I can definitely communicate with my dog. Wild creatures, not so much. Thanks for commenting, Sascha.

      Delete

Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.

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