Wednesday, 30 January 2019

LOST WORLD - 100 word story

This week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt made me think of remote areas and being lost in the landscape. And what would happen if you saw something unexpected?


PHOTO PROMPT © Renee Heath


LOST WORLD

They found a perfect camping spot.
'Let's picnic over there,' said Amanda.
The companions set up their chairs.
Amanda unpacked cheese sandwiches, coleslaw, cherry tomatoes and mouth-puckeringly salty olives.
'Here.' She gave Ray and Alice paper plates and plastic forks.
Alice bit into her sandwich and looked around. 'Now this is what I call remote. It feels like we're the last people on earth.'
'Or the first,' said Ray.
'Hey, yeah. Like we've discovered Conan Doyle’s Lost World,' said Amanda.
They exchanged goofy grins.
A scalp-raising screech reverberated. They looked up and blinked as the pterodactyl flapped straight towards them.  


I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 

- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 
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79 comments:

  1. Neil MacDonald30 January 2019 at 13:43

    Pterodactyl? What else is in that lunch box besides very salty olives?

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    1. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 19:06

      Now then, Neil. This is my attempt at a fantastical tale! :)

      Delete
  2. The Silver Fox30 January 2019 at 15:31

    Many years ago, I read about "time pockets." For no apparent reason, some people supposedly vanish and reappear in another time. Wonder if this trio had such an experience.

    By the way, starting Saturday and continuing into next week (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday) I'll be posting a five-part story I wrote ten years ago. IF you have the time and the inclination to read it, I'd appreciate your feedback.

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    1. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 19:07

      I like the idea of a 'time pocket'.
      I'll try to remember to look at your story. :)

      Delete
  3. Brenda Cox30 January 2019 at 15:54

    You built the story to a great twist at the end. Very entertaining tale! 🙂

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  4. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields30 January 2019 at 16:51

    Dear Susan,

    This has a Twilight Zone feel to it. Quite the picnic. Love it!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 19:08

      I liked the idea of changing an everyday thing into something weird. :)

      Delete
  5. Penny Gadd30 January 2019 at 17:28

    Eek! What an end to a picnic! I hope they escaped.

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    1. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 19:09

      He he - that might be down to who could run the fastest!

      Delete
  6. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 19:10

    But maybe the unexpected is down lots of pathways, Stuart!

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  7. Dale30 January 2019 at 19:30

    Now that's a whole lot different situation than when seagulls swoop in! Loved this, Susan.

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  8. Iain Kelly30 January 2019 at 19:56

    Wonderful, I wish I could be there with them!

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  9. brudberg30 January 2019 at 20:25

    I think I hear the thump from a Tyrannosaurus heavy tail... time to run

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  10. Violet Lentz30 January 2019 at 20:58

    Awesome twist!! Nice write!!!

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  11. Jennifer Macaire30 January 2019 at 21:56

    Ha - that was a surprise ending - loved it!

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    1. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 22:45

      That's what I love about writing fiction - you can do anything!

      Delete
  12. Alice Audrey30 January 2019 at 22:23

    That might be a little too much like Lost Worlds. Better run.

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    1. Susan A Eames30 January 2019 at 22:45

      I know that's what I would do in their position. :)

      Delete
  13. KISLAYA GOPAL31 January 2019 at 03:47

    Pterodactyl - whats next?
    Interesting story - would love to read more about Amanda and her friend's adventure in this so called 'remote' place!

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 09:54

      He he - who knows what might turn up in remote areas? Thanks for commenting, Kislaya.

      Delete
  14. plaridel31 January 2019 at 04:36

    well crafted ending. it was something i didn't expect. :)

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  15. Anurag Bakhshi31 January 2019 at 06:40

    Ha, time for a fun-filled adventure, for the pterodactyl that is:-)

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 09:55

      He he - I'm not sure a pterodactyl would have a sense of fun. :)

      Delete
  16. Abhijit Ray31 January 2019 at 07:16

    Have they landed in Jurassic Park in search of last uninhabited remote land?

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 09:55

      Perhaps - or somewhere similar. Thanks for the comment, Abhijit.

      Delete
  17. C. E. Ayr31 January 2019 at 08:40

    Oh, just throw it a sandwich and get over yourselves!

    Entertaining stuff, Susan

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 09:56

      And if that fails, give it the whole picnic! :)

      Delete
  18. draliman31 January 2019 at 08:44

    Let's hope it's a fan of salty olives, they need a diversion :-)

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 09:57

      Yes! It's either run, or start chucking it titbits. :)

      Delete
  19. Darlene31 January 2019 at 08:57

    Loved it! A great use of 100 words. Using a picture as a prompt is such a good idea. I used it in my latest workshop with a grade 4 class.

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 09:58

      Thanks, Darlene Yes, I'm finding these photo prompts really helpful - definitely worth a try. :)

      Delete
  20. liz young31 January 2019 at 11:10

    EEEK! They should have known better than to picnic in Jurassic Park!

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 14:34

      He he - or maybe they passed through a time portal?

      Delete
  21. Keith's Ramblings31 January 2019 at 12:05

    They clearly didn't realise that pterodactyls love salty olives! I never take them with me when I'm camping.

    Click to read my FriFic tale!

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  22. kalpana solsi31 January 2019 at 17:04

    loved the surprise ending to the picnic and they must have made a dash with cheese sandwiches in their hands.

    https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-wigwam.html

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    1. Susan A Eames31 January 2019 at 18:40

      He he - glad I surprised you. Thanks for commenting, Kalpana. :)

      Delete
  23. Helen Baggott31 January 2019 at 20:28

    Didn't see that coming!

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  24. lisarey1990@gmail.com1 February 2019 at 00:21

    Very entertaining.

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  25. margirene1 February 2019 at 06:46

    Great pace in this - all very innocent, with 'goofy grins' then a 'scalp-raising screech' to sweep us right into another dimension. Well told.

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  26. Sandra Crook1 February 2019 at 10:02

    It's going to be an interesting trip, I feel.

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  27. Subroto2 February 2019 at 13:57

    On the plus size a pterodactyl is just a big chicken, so food won't be a problem if they don't get eaten first.

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    1. Susan A Eames2 February 2019 at 14:03

      Ha ha - that's one way of looking at it! Thanks for the comment, Subroto.

      Delete
  28. Anonymous2 February 2019 at 15:19

    I really like the way you start the story with the domestic - tasty picnic in a remote spot, then kerboom - the pterodactyl bursts in from pre-history. Nicely done. francineangelcakes

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    1. Susan A Eames2 February 2019 at 17:07

      Thanks for the feedback, Francine. Glad you liked it. :)

      Delete
  29. Kelley Farrell2 February 2019 at 15:32

    Ha, quite the surprise! I hope they don't feel the ground start rumbling.

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    1. Susan A Eames2 February 2019 at 17:07

      He he - now that would not be good! Thanks for the comment, Kelley.

      Delete
  30. Gah Learner2 February 2019 at 22:23

    Oh, they had to speak it out loud, didn't they? And there they are. They can be lucky they didn't imagine dragons, I guess. Great fun.

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    1. Susan A Eames3 February 2019 at 09:33

      He he - case of 'careful what you wish for'. Thanks for commenting, Gah.

      Delete
  31. Suchita3 February 2019 at 05:56

    Time travel...or a movie...or something more? Such a great take on the prompt!

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  32. Anita Sabat3 February 2019 at 06:40

    Just when the reader is happy in the picnic & pristine surroundings!
    Yikes! What a finish. Hope they are safe.

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    1. Susan A Eames3 February 2019 at 09:35

      Their fate might depend on the pterodactyl's motive. :)

      Delete
  33. Dawn Q.3 February 2019 at 07:38

    Magical ending to this piece, Susan. When Louis and Clark set out, many expected them to find dinosaurs on the other side of the rockies–– based on bones found around that time. The scenery lends itself to such imaginative expectations. Fun piece!

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    1. Susan A Eames3 February 2019 at 09:37

      I didn't know that about the early explorers, Dawn. Thanks for your comments. :)

      Delete
  34. Fatima Fakier4 February 2019 at 06:17

    That was some picnic!

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  35. Rohan Kachalia4 February 2019 at 06:42

    The fun ends as well as begins now! Liked the twist at the end. Nicely done, Susan.

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    1. Susan A Eames4 February 2019 at 10:04

      Fun for the pterodactyl perhaps! Thanks for commenting, Rohan.

      Delete
  36. grams ramblings4 February 2019 at 17:20

    All very homely and then POW ! you hit us with the scary and unusual. Whatever next? Loved the easy flow of your words. It's something I'm always trying for. And we're going to visit Ireland in a couple of months. Can't wait.



    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

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    1. Susan A Eames4 February 2019 at 18:18

      Thanks for commenting, Maz. Nice to hear you're visiting Ireland - it's a beautiful country. :)

      Delete
  37. magarisa4 February 2019 at 17:52

    Intriguing! Sounds like they've stepped into a dangerous world... hope they return to safety before it's too late!

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    1. Susan A Eames4 February 2019 at 18:19

      It's certainly not what they were expecting. Thanks for the comment, magarisa. :)

      Delete
  38. Priya4 February 2019 at 18:54

    That's interesting. So were they time-traveling?

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  39. Susie Clevenger5 February 2019 at 00:04

    Back to the future with a screech...Love the unexpected ending

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  40. Dawn5 February 2019 at 16:01

    I didn't see that coming!

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.

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