Wednesday, 13 February 2019

ILLICIT - 100 word story

Here's my Friday Fictioneers photo prompt story. I thought the building looked quite institutional, hence my subject matter.



PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll



ILLICIT

'Wait under my window. I'll throw it down.' Spider cradled his forbidden phone.
'Why don't I come and pick it up?' said JJ.
'You crazy?'
'Well.'
'How the hell would you get on my floor, JJ?'
'Um.'
'I'm in the Secure Wing, idiot.'
'Oh, yeah.'
'Look, you're allowed in the garden. Go outside after dinner. I'll throw it down.'
'Okay.' JJ was about to hang up. 'Uh, Spider, I don't know which window is yours.'
Spider sighed. 'I'll hang it on the outside of my window. Don't forget.'
'Okay.'
JJ tucked his phone away. Within minutes, he'd forgotten the conversation.




I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 

- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 

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55 comments:

  1. Neil MacDonald13 February 2019 at 10:44

    I guess the world is always fresh and new for JJ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 12:12

      Yes, Spider couldn't have chosen a more unreliable inmate to help him. Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  2. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields13 February 2019 at 11:04

    Dear Susan,

    I saw the movie Spider a long time ago. What a dark film that left an impression. So I'm wondering if your Spider is related? You called it right on the institution. I'm told it's a picture of an abandoned mental hospital in New Jersey. Nicely done in any event.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 12:14

      How interesting. I'm not familiar with that movie - I just chose the name because it sounded like a good nickname for him. Thanks for the comment, Rochelle.

      Delete
  3. Iain Kelly13 February 2019 at 12:40

    I think I can see why JJ ended up in there.

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  4. Sandra Crook13 February 2019 at 14:12

    The accomplice is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I guess. :)

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  5. krawson13 February 2019 at 14:14

    LOL, Spider is doomed and JJ is going to have no idea.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 14:24

      Thanks, Karen. I enjoyed creating these two characters. Spider seems to know that JJ is unreliable, and yet he thinks he can force JJ to perform!

      Delete
  6. Penny Gadd13 February 2019 at 14:39

    I like your take on the prompt, and the way you have used that enigmatic object outside the window. That's a very neat humorous story - I like it!

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    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 14:51

      Thanks, Penny. I couldn't figure out what the object was, so thought I'd let the reader decide. :)

      Delete
  7. Keith's Ramblings13 February 2019 at 15:08

    They don't make a very good team. Time for plan B!

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 15:52

      No, they're hopeless, aren't they? Thanks for commenting, Keith.

      Delete
  8. Anita Sabat13 February 2019 at 16:10

    Plan gone wrong! JJ has amnesia? Or may be he has other plans :)
    Well narrated.
    Have a great week, Susan!
    The Familiar Face - Anita

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 18:08

      Thanks, Anita. I saw JJ as mentally challenged when I created him rather than having sneaky motives. :)

      Delete
  9. liz young13 February 2019 at 17:20

    This reminds me of a young(ish) man I know who has lost his short term memory. Not a happy situation for his family, but fortunately he isn't aware there's anything wrong with him.

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    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 18:09

      That's interesting, as well as sad, Lizy. I think JJ has more than short term memory issues.

      Delete
  10. Brenda Cox13 February 2019 at 17:42

    Aw, poor Spider, he's going to be sorely disappointed. JJ won't remember so it won't bother him. Very creative story, I love the characters you've created.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 18:11

      Thanks, Brenda. I 'saw' them very clearly when I began to write this story. Some characters just jump out at me in an instant. :)

      Delete
  11. Dale13 February 2019 at 18:41

    Honestly, I think they both have issues ;-)
    I enjoyed your take, Susan.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 18:54

      Yes, each has their own problems! Thanks for commenting, Dale.

      Delete
  12. Susan A Eames13 February 2019 at 21:13

    Don't expect logic with these two, Stuart. Thanks for commenting. :)

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  13. Birgit13 February 2019 at 23:06

    Oh My...how old are these 2? I think they have been inside for a very long time:)

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 February 2019 at 10:38

      Well, I'd say their problem is being somewhat mentally challenged, Birgit. :)

      Delete
  14. plaridel14 February 2019 at 01:08

    i feel sorry for these guys for finding themselves in such a hopeless situation.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 February 2019 at 10:38

      That's another way of looking at it, plaridel. Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  15. KISLAYA GOPAL14 February 2019 at 04:08

    Forgetful JJ...Spider will wonder later about what went wrong in his instructions to JJ!

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 February 2019 at 10:39

      I suspect he already knows JJ might forget! Thanks for your comment, Kislaya.

      Delete
  16. draliman14 February 2019 at 07:47

    Oh dear. Spider needs a new co-conspirator, methinks.

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    1. Susan A Eames14 February 2019 at 10:39

      Yes, he does - but he has to find someone equally biddable. :)

      Delete
  17. C. E. Ayr14 February 2019 at 08:24

    Sad tale, nicely portrayed

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames14 February 2019 at 10:41

      Thanks for the comment. It's interesting that a couple of you have called the story 'sad' - I didn't see as sad when I wrote it. Just goes to show how things we write can be interpreted differently.

      Delete
  18. Gah Learner14 February 2019 at 14:52

    With a memory like JJ's they'll have a new adventure every day which may just make their situation a bit more bearable. Great story telling.

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    1. Susan A Eames14 February 2019 at 16:21

      He he - that's one way of looking at it. Thanks for commenting, Gah. :)

      Delete
  19. Alice Audrey14 February 2019 at 16:57

    And so it will hang there forever.

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  20. The Silver Fox14 February 2019 at 21:01

    Too bad. It looks like Spider will never even get the chance to slap the hell out of JJ for being such a screw-up.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames15 February 2019 at 16:54

      No, he'll only be able to shout at him over the phone. :)

      Delete
  21. Linda15 February 2019 at 15:28

    Beautiful set-up with a perfect ending, considering the type of place this seems to be. Nicely done :)

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  22. Andrea LeDew15 February 2019 at 17:15

    Short term memory loss is a bear. I havea feeling Spider will be waiting a long time. And its just as well, since whatever hes planning to do is,no doubt, illicit.��

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames15 February 2019 at 18:49

      Yes, I'd say Spider is always up to no good. Thanks for the comment, Andrea.

      Delete
  23. lisarey1990@gmail.com15 February 2019 at 23:54

    Fun set-up. Nicely done!

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  24. margirene16 February 2019 at 05:27

    A very entertaining romp in la-la land. Well told. Two likeable rogues trying their best to get up to mischief.

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames16 February 2019 at 08:58

      Oh, good to know my intention worked because that's how I saw them too. Thanks for commenting, Margirene.

      Delete
  25. Magarisa16 February 2019 at 22:56

    A fun read! Those two are so likable. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames17 February 2019 at 10:40

      Thanks, Magarisa - appreciate your feedback. :)

      Delete
  26. brudberg17 February 2019 at 20:03

    Alas... you have to find the right co-conspirator to succeed... wonder what it was he wanted to get out

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  27. Shirley17 February 2019 at 23:50

    Cute story. I've never seen the movie either, but enjoyed the imagery.

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  28. Michael Wynn19 February 2019 at 15:11

    Spider's not the person to rely on. Poor JJ, he needs to find other help. Nice tale

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    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames19 February 2019 at 20:27

      He he - I think you may have got them the wrong way round, Michael! :)

      Delete

Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.

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