PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll
NOT SO SWEET REVENGE
Pablito suffered a
miserable life in servitude to Manolo, the meanest man in Murcia.
In the almond groves Manolo harvested nuts, tasting as he worked.
Pablito endured the searing sun.
Suddenly
Manolo started choking. Pablito watched his nemesis make horrible
strangling noises, turn purple and collapse.
The
donkey was free. Years of pent-up animosity released themselves in an
almighty kick to Manolo’s back.
The
almond shot out of Manolo’s throat, ricocheted off a tree and hit
Pablito between the eyes.
Manolo
bounced back to life.
“Ooooh shiiiiit,”
brayed Pablito - which sounded to human ears like a demented
heeee-haaaaaaw.
I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments.
I will be away vagabonding in June. See you when I return in July. If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE
If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.
On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been redirected to your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign into wordpress first.
Please check and amend your settings. Thanks.
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Wednesday, 22 May 2019
NOT SO SWEET REVENGE - 100 word story
I looked at this week's Friday Fictioneers photo prompt and remembered that many years ago I wrote a story about a donkey. I never expected to use it again in a re-write which just goes to show: never throw away your old stories.
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I'm certain Manolo will be transformed by his near-death experience and treat everyone, including the donkey, with great kindness. No?
ReplyDeleteHe he - well Pablito doesn't seem to think so! :)
DeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteI fear what happened next. At any rate, a good story. I agree...never throw any writing away, you never know when you might be able to use it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Maybe Manolo will think Pablito tried to save him? :)
DeleteA donkey's hee-haw will never sound the same to me again! Nice one Susan.
ReplyDeleteMy story - 'A stab in the dark'
Nor me! Thanks for commenting, Keith.
DeleteAww that poor donkey! Fate is cruel.
ReplyDeleteGreat story from the vault.
Thanks, Tannille. I wrote it in a frivolous mood. :)
DeleteJust when it looked as if things were turning for the better for Pablito, Fate took a hand. Neat twist.
ReplyDeleteAnn
Thanks, Ann. You never know what might happen from your actions. :)
DeleteThat was great, Susan, especially the ending. It's a good thing it came out as hee-haw or poor Pablito would have been in even worse trouble. Well written. :D --- Suzanne
DeleteGlad you enjoyed it, Suzanne. Appreciate your feedback. :)
DeletePoor Pablito, can't win from losing...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNo, he should have walked away instead of delivering that kick. :)
DeleteOh, poor Pablito! This is a story well worth repeating :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda. Glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteGreat read! I could see it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Josh - glad you liked it. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, trag-comedy of the highest order. Poor Pablito!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Iain - appreciate it.
DeleteToo funny....glad I found your blog. I'm off to check out Rochelle's. I am also starting a Friday Foto Flash challenge this week, hope you might find time to check it out and write a short tale (500 words or less).
ReplyDeleteDB McNicol
author, traveler, shutterbug
Author Blog
Personal Blog
Thanks Donna. I'll take a look, but can't promise I'll manage another, similar photo prompt writing project.
DeleteGoodness! This made me laugh. Poor Pablito, I fear he will not be well rewarded.
ReplyDeleteSusan, the above comment is my me, Alicia Jamtaas. Evidently I didn't amend my ways.
DeleteHi Alicia, thanks for commenting... and identifying yourself! :)
Deleteanimal handlers always advise never to get right behind a donkey if you know what's good for you. fun read. :)
ReplyDeleteHe he - that's true. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteJust as Manolo got a kick out of this, so did I. Very good imagination.
ReplyDeleteAh, thanks, Jade.
DeleteHa! I think Pablito's dismay when Manolo survived is a universal feeling. That crushing of one's only hope. Glad you kept this story, it's wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lovely comment, Fatima. (I'm glad I kept it now too!)
DeleteOh no, poor Pablito :-( Made me smile :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's okay, I smiled when I wrote it. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteGreat plot, good description, engaging characters and a super humorous twist. Very enjoyable story Susan!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your lovely feedback, Penny. Glad you enjoyed the story.
ReplyDeleteThis was funny, Susan. Karma was super fast on this one!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dale - glad it amused you. :)
DeletePoor Pablito. But, in the end he did the right thing? I thoroughly enjoyed your story! =)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Brenda - glad you enjoyed my story! :)
DeleteHa! that made me laugh, good stuff
ReplyDeleteThanks, my work is done! :)
DeleteHa! Very good.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Patsy - appreciate it. :)
DeleteGreat story, Susan - made me smile :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Liz - glad you liked it. :)
ReplyDeletePaybacks are hell. Good job Pablito.
ReplyDeleteHe he - thanks for commenting, Shirley.
DeleteHa! Ha! Should have let him choke instead of working on that Heimlich kick.
ReplyDeleteHe he, yes, I think the donkey wishes he'd left well alone. Thanks for the comment, Subroto.
DeleteI enjoyed this so much. What great characters. I hope the donkey gets a better deal from now on, but somehow I don't think he will.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it depends on whether Manolo has a 'grateful' gene. Thanks for the feedback - appreciate it! :)
DeleteI loved this. Poor unwilling life safer Pablito. Freedom snatched away, I bet he wishes he could have those few seconds of his life again, to keep his feet firmly on the floor.
ReplyDeleteA lesson in how not to be spontaneous? Glad you enjoyed the story, Michael.
ReplyDeleteso the donkey was never really free. The master made sure of that. A story with a twist.
ReplyDeletehttps://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-dark-horse.html
Well, I'd say the donkey would have been freed from him if it hadn't kicked and dislodged that almond. Thanks for the comment, Kalpana.
DeleteWhat a laugh riot of a story! Nice twist at the end. Good writing, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Neel - appreciate your feedback.
DeleteOh... poor donkey... but maybe in the end Manolo will change.
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of a poem by Juan Ramón Jiménez that I heard recited to guitar music... "Platero and I"... which is much sadder and kinder between the owner and donkey.
That's interesting to know. Having lived in Spain, I speak a bit of Spanish, so I'll see if I can find his poem.
DeleteThis is hilarious! A new twist on "don't kick 'em when they're down."
ReplyDeleteThanks, Russell - glad you enjoyed it. :)
DeleteHaha...funny stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dawn!
Delete