Wednesday, 31 July 2019

CASTAWAY - 100 word story

The photo prompt for this week's Friday Fictioneers challenge led me to a deserted island and a stranded young yachtswoman. Never mind the buildings in the picture - it's the seaplane that caught my imagination.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

CASTAWAY

The interior of the uninhabited island was full of shadows, where the devils in her imagination lurked just beyond an exhalation of breath.
Elizabeth stood on the beach, facing seawards. The sun scattered diamonds over the rippling water. An offshore breeze whickered across her bruised body, lifting her tattered t-shirt.
The yacht lay in the shallows, stern tipped out of the water like a tease. Elizabeth stared at the capsized vessel until she felt dizzy, unable to absorb the impact of her situation.
The tinnitus in her ears coalesced into a roar as the seaplane banked and landed.
Elizabeth blinked.



I hope you enjoyed this story and I look forward to your comments. 


If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 


- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.


On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been redirected to your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign into wordpress first. 
Please check and amend your settings. Thanks.






Posted by at

56 comments:

  1. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields31 July 2019 at 10:31

    Dear Susan,

    I could feel the breeze whickering...great word. I'm intrigued. This is a great lead in to a larger story, I think.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames31 July 2019 at 12:36

      Thanks, Rochelle. Yes, this story is loosely based on another one I wrote some years ago.

      Delete
  2. Neil MacDonald31 July 2019 at 10:37

    The trouble with 100 words is it's hard to indicate the passage of time. She's rescued as soon as she's stranded. But in 1,000 words ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames31 July 2019 at 12:38

      Long enough to have become unnerved by the island's interior; short enough to still be staring at her yacht in shock. :)

      Delete
  3. C. E. Ayr31 July 2019 at 10:57

    I wonder if the seaplane is a rescue or something more sinister...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames31 July 2019 at 12:39

      Oh, trust you to see another angle! Thanks for the comment - and suggesting the possibility of a different outcome. :)

      Delete
  4. Birgit31 July 2019 at 15:16

    This is a great story because she must be the sole survivor and she is lucky not to get eaten by Bart the bear(see my movie picks tomorrow:))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames31 July 2019 at 16:53

      Ha ha - you've made me curious Birgit! Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  5. Dale31 July 2019 at 15:28

    This is wonderful and leaves us with many a question - always a good sign.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Reena Saxena31 July 2019 at 15:52

    Lovely imagery! And her relief is so obvious, though not spelt out. Excellent take!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames31 July 2019 at 16:54

      Thanks for the comments, Reena. Appreciate your feedback.

      Delete
  7. Iain Kelly31 July 2019 at 18:05

    Good story Susan, I like the imagery.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jo Hawk31 July 2019 at 19:13

    An intriguing story. I'm ready to read more.

    ReplyDelete
  9. theministryofshrawleywalks31 July 2019 at 21:22

    Really brilliant, love this; whickering, hope I never experience it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nobbinmaug31 July 2019 at 21:27

    Your description was excellent. You set-up the scene very well. Then, you left me wondering who's in the plane? Was it terrorists? Did they attack the yacht? Now, they're coming back for captives. Are they cannibals? Is Elizabeth going to be imprisoned in a sweatshop that makes volleyballs? Is it a volleyball? Is it Wilson? After saving Tom Hanks, did he dedicate his life to saving people who are stranded on islands? There are so many possibilities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames31 July 2019 at 22:06

      Ha ha - your comments left me breathless. So many possibilities indeed! :)

      Delete
  11. Jade Li31 July 2019 at 22:32

    A fortunate survivor, or let's hope so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 10:00

      What I love about writing these Friday Fictioneer's stories is how they can be interpreted differently. When I wrote this, I never imagined that anyone would think her rescuers were not benign. :)

      Delete
    2. Rekha Rajgopal6 August 2019 at 13:32

      Me neither. I was happy she was rescued. But that is truly the advantage of writing in a group. You get perspectives you never thought of.

      Delete
    3. Susan A Eames6 August 2019 at 15:04

      Yes, indeed, Rekha. It can be a real eye opener. Thanks for commenting. :)

      Delete
  12. Anurag Bakhshi1 August 2019 at 05:33

    This could be the end of her troubles...or just the beginning :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 10:01

      I see it as the end of her troubles, but who knows?

      Delete
  13. plaridel1 August 2019 at 05:54

    i enjoyed reading this story. well-crafted and outstanding imagery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 10:02

      Thank you, plaridel - glad to know you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  14. Darlene1 August 2019 at 08:37

    A great use of 100 words. The photo looks like it was taken on the west coast of BC.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 10:02

      Thanks, Darlene. I have no idea where the photo was taken. :)

      Delete
  15. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 10:01

    Thank you, Dawn. (Throwback from my travel writing days.)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sandra Crook1 August 2019 at 10:47

    Nicely paced, Susan. Good one.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dawn1 August 2019 at 11:54

    Interesting use of the prompt. Very descriptive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 13:47

      Ah, two comments from you this week, Dawn! Thank you.

      Delete
  18. draliman1 August 2019 at 12:33

    That was a quick rescue! A story to tell the kids rather than a decades-long ordeal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 13:50

      Yes, perhaps a longer word count would have included the boating accident and her mayday call before the yacht capsized. :)

      Delete
  19. Keiths Ramblings1 August 2019 at 12:40

    A happy ending or a worrying start to something sinister? Intriguing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 13:50

      He he - you're not the only one who speculated on the ending. :)

      Delete
  20. P.S. Joshi1 August 2019 at 13:35

    A good story, well written, Susan. By the condition of her body and her clothes I'd say it was a rough landing. The seaplane seems to have spotted the wreckage. ---- Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames1 August 2019 at 13:52

      Thanks, Suzanne. Yes, she didn't survive unscathed and there could be a variety of reasons how the plane found her.

      Delete
  21. Brenda Cox1 August 2019 at 17:56

    Great description of a castaway hopefully being rescued. Love the last line!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Linda2 August 2019 at 01:08

    Perfect set-up for a longer story. One wants to help Elizabeth :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames2 August 2019 at 16:51

      Yes, this could be fleshed out into a prologue, perhaps. Thanks for commenting, Linda. :)

      Delete
  23. Karen3 August 2019 at 03:47

    This is SO good. I love the similes and metaphors, and the description, particularly "...lurked just beyond an exhalation of breath."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames3 August 2019 at 10:21

      Thank you for your encouraging comments, Karen. :)

      Delete
  24. lisarey1990@gmail.com3 August 2019 at 16:07

    The imagery is fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Solothefirst4 August 2019 at 08:48

    Wow I felt every breath, the water, the wind, the adrenaline. Well told

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames4 August 2019 at 10:56

      Thank you for the feedback - appreciate it. :)

      Delete
  26. Magarisa4 August 2019 at 19:49

    Beautifully descriptive. Love the understated, ambiguous ending.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Woman Walks Dog7 August 2019 at 08:56

    You create a vivid scene so well, of the place and for the dazed woman. I want to know what happens next. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan A Eames7 August 2019 at 09:23

      He he - even I don't know what's going to happen next. Maybe I should turn this into a longer story, given the encouraging comments I've received. :)

      Delete
  28. liz young13 August 2019 at 10:31

    I thought I'd commented before but obviously I hit the wrong button! Good story, Susan.

    ReplyDelete

Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)