Saturday, 4 November 2017

Touché - A story in 100 words

After a summer break from blogging, I thought I'd get back into the swing of things by joining the Friday Fictioneers, whose stories I've been enjoying for some time.



PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Ann Hall



Touché

  
Pamela disliked her mother's collections of china and pottery. Shelves groaning with Wade Whimsies were a particular bugbear.
'What do you see in these twee little animal figures?'
'Now, Pammy, look closely at their intricacies.'
Pamela remained unimpressed.
At least the Whimsies were small. The sheer vulgarity of the collection of jardinières appalled her.
'One day you'll love them,' said her mother.
'Never,' said Pamela.
On the day that Pamela picked up the jardinières, courtesy of her mother's will, she found a note inside each one which read: For my darling daughter to learn to love.
Pamela sighed. 'Touché, mother.'


44 comments:

  1. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, Susan. A pity you had only 100 words or there could have been a different message inside each

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    1. Thanks, Neil. Yes - the shortest flash I normally write is 200 words. Getting the prose down to 100 is real challenge!

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  2. Dear Susan,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. I'm glad you finally took the plunge.
    Pamela's mother knew a lot about her daughter Pamela didn't know about herself. Nicely crafted story. I look forward to reading more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. Having a break from blogging has given me a chance to rethink my blog and trying Friday Fictioneers seemed like a good way to get me going again.

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  3. It'll take a lot more than a note to convince her, I think!

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  4. Her mother managed to nag her even from beyond the grave! Welcome to FF, Susan.

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    1. Yes, I think it's something mothers are capable of. :) Thanks for the welcome - I'm here because of you!

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  5. I still think she will come to appreciate them, as her mother predicted. Nicely done.

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  6. Wonderfully told, Susan. Loved your story.

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    1. Thank you - that's very good to know.

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  7. Actually, I can relate to this story! My mother and I had distinctly different tastes in ... well, everything. However, after she passed away, things I had previously considered hideous now became treasures.
    I think Pamela's mother got it right!

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    1. Mothers usually are right, Joanne. :)

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  8. Oh, I love that you also found out what they where... for me it's a case of watching way to many antique's roadshow.. good that she left that message, it's like she knew her daughter better than the daughter did herself.

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    1. I used to be in the business many moons ago, so I knew what they were the minute I saw the photo. :)

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  9. A mixture of sweet and beyond-the-grave nagging :-) Nice!

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  10. I guess there's no accounting for taste. I'm with the daughter.

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  11. I remember Wade Whimsies! I had a labrador puppy Whimsy I was very proud of, though I wouldn't give it house room now! I admit, I rather like some of the jardiniere. Love mother's notes at the end - I wonder if Pamela will grow to love them? Lovely story

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    1. Glad you enjoyed the story, Lynn. Maybe Pamela will grow to love them in memory of her mother. :)

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  12. Welcome back Susan.
    Mothers have a way of proving their point. Lovely story!
    Thanks. Norma.

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    1. Thanks, Norma. Yes, we shouldn't argue with our mothers!

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  13. I'm with Pamela. She should keep one for a keepsake and donate the rest to Junior Jr.'s family for chamber pots. Thanks for participating this week. I look forward to reading more of your work. - Russell

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    1. Thanks, Russell - yes, one for a keepsake might do the trick. :)

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  14. What a lovely story. I learned some new words too.

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  15. Glad to know you enjoyed it, Ted. :)

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  16. Perhaps once Pamela has had the jardinieres valued she'll perk up a bit. I don't envy her the dusting though.

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    1. Ha ha - that's one way of looking at it!

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  17. You've written a clever little story to make the point that when we lose a dear one we are predisposed to look gently on what we have perceived as their failings.
    Nice writing!

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  18. Very well done. I did a few "flash fiction" stories a few years ago that were limited to fifty-five words each! Very challenging for a wordy s.o.b. like myself!

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    1. Yes, very short fiction which nevertheless encompasses a genuine story is hard to achieve. Fifty five sounds extremely challenging!

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    2. I actually managed to do four of them, all back in 2010. I think I'll collect them and republish them together in an upcoming post on my blog! Thanks for the inspiration.

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    3. I shall look forward to reading them.

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  19. Death gives new meaning to many things. Nicely written.

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    1. It does, doesn't it, Irene? Thanks for your comment.

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  20. Mum having the last word. I like it. :) :)

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