Wednesday, 11 April 2018

TSUNAMI - 100 Word Story

Hello again. I've returned from my travels and eager to return to the weekly Friday Fictioneers challenge: write a 100 word story using the photo prompt.

 The prompt this week immediately reminded me of an article I wrote about a tsunami survivor. Here is a severely abridged version of Shiham's story.



TSUNAMI

Shiham heard an unusual noise. To his astonishment the sea looked like it was boiling. And the disturbance was heading his way.

Alarmed, Shiham started running. An eight foot wave swept him off his feet. He snagged a palm tree, but the surging, debris-filled water threatened his grip. He looked around wildly. A building was nearby. Could he reach it? He took a calculated risk and let the water recapture him.

Choking, ducking, half-swimming and blindly scrabbling for his life, Shiham reached the building. From the roof he could hear screams above the battering water. His salty tears went unremarked.
I hope you enjoyed the story and I look forward to reading your comments. 

If you wish to read more Friday Fictioneers stories, you can find them listed HERE


If you'd like to join in the challenge, you'll find all the information posted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields 
- her blog is listed on 'My Blog List' on the right hand side of this page.

On a final note - I always try to visit the blogs of everyone who comments on mine. If I haven't commented on yours it's either because I haven't been able to find your blog when I've clicked on your name or because you have a wordpress account that requires me to sign in first. 

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62 comments:

  1. Anonymous11 April 2018 at 09:54

    Great drama to this, Susan

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  2. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 11:03

    Thanks, Neil. The full account of what happened to this young man is poignant.

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  3. Keith's Ramblings11 April 2018 at 11:21

    Brilliantly written Susan, your words swept me along with him.

    A-Z of My Friend Rosey!

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  4. Linda11 April 2018 at 12:09

    "His salty tears. . ." In all that other saltwater, yes, they would go unremarked. Wonderful little snippet of a longer story.

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 13:00

      Thank you, Linda. I will never forget my interview with Shiham.

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  5. James11 April 2018 at 13:18

    Inescapable.

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  6. Sandra Crook11 April 2018 at 14:11

    Relentless - I caught the desperation.

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 15:26

      The Asian tsunami was such a huge event and affected so many people.

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  7. Iain Kelly11 April 2018 at 14:14

    I too saw the aftermath of a natural disaster in the prompt, although it took me a different direction. Great drama and action and a powerful last line.

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 15:27

      Thanks, Iain. It's good to know the last line worked for you.

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  8. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields11 April 2018 at 14:39

    Dear Susan,

    I found myself choking and gasping for breath. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 15:29

      Thanks, Rochelle. I wanted to convey how terrifying Shiham's experience was, so I'm glad to know my description worked for you.

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  9. Penny Gadd11 April 2018 at 15:53

    You tell the tale very dramatically, Susan. Well done.

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  10. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 16:01

    Thanks, Penny. I shed more than a few tears over that awful tsunami.

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  11. Dale11 April 2018 at 16:07

    So glad to have you back, Susan. And with a wallop of a story that totally grabbed me. I could feel his desperation and was straining for him to hold on.

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 16:51

      Thank you for the lovely welcome back message, Dale. I'm glad my story grabbed you! :)

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  12. Anonymous11 April 2018 at 16:17

    Superbly written, Susan. I missed your stories . So glad you are back.
    Best wishes,
    Moon

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 16:53

      Thank you for welcoming me back, Moon. It's comments like yours that inspire me to keep writing!

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  13. The Silver Fox11 April 2018 at 17:03

    Believe it or not, I have actually wondered in the past whether or not I would have the nerve to do something like that, to briefly let nature have its way with me as I work toward some sort of salvation.

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 17:08

      Hmm, well I suppose I've been in scuba diving situations where I've had to surrender to the current, but really I prefer to stay in control!

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  14. krawson11 April 2018 at 17:04

    I could see this so vividly. Glad he made it!

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 17:09

      Thanks, Karen. It's good to know that I created a visual story!

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  15. Patsy11 April 2018 at 18:46

    Powerful story – and sadly very true for some.

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    1. Susan A Eames11 April 2018 at 18:57

      Thanks, Patsy. Yes, this really happened. :(

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  16. Anurag Bakhshi12 April 2018 at 05:04

    A powerful story about a terrible disaster, and one man trying to survive it.

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    1. Susan A Eames12 April 2018 at 09:30

      Thank you for your comment, Anurag. He survived against the odds.

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  17. lisarey1990@gmail.com12 April 2018 at 05:31

    Very powerful story.

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    1. Susan A Eames12 April 2018 at 09:31

      Thank you for commenting, Lisa. It's a powerful subject, isn't it?

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  18. plaridel12 April 2018 at 06:20

    i felt i was with him with the tension building up and all. glad he survived. well done.

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    1. Susan A Eames12 April 2018 at 09:33

      Thanks, Plaridel. It all happened so quickly - the situation dictated the build up of tension.

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  19. draliman12 April 2018 at 08:43

    Such a terrifying scene. I can imagine that tricky decision - hang on to the tree or take a chance.

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    1. Susan A Eames12 April 2018 at 09:34

      When I talked to him, I realised how brave his decision had been to let go of that tree, Alistair.

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  20. liz young12 April 2018 at 10:06

    He let the water recapture him. Excellent use of words to create an indelible image.

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  21. Susan A Eames12 April 2018 at 10:42

    Thanks, Liz. I gave it a lot of thought when I first wrote this, so it's good to know that my efforts were worthwhile. :)

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  22. Clare Hempstead12 April 2018 at 13:30

    Great description of a terrifying event.

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  23. Susan A Eames12 April 2018 at 15:03

    Thanks for commenting, Clare - much appreciated. :)

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  24. Subroto13 April 2018 at 13:21

    Powerful descriptions that captures his helplessness. Very well done.

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    1. Susan A Eames13 April 2018 at 15:49

      Thank you - I'm glad those descriptions worked for you.

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  25. Ann (bunnygirl)13 April 2018 at 15:11

    Well, at least he had the sense to know what was happening and not see it as an opportunity for a selfie. He tried, and that's all any of us can do.

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    1. Susan A Eames13 April 2018 at 15:49

      Too true, Ann. I did take his photo for the article - but that was months after the event. :)

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  26. Lucy Garcia Magaldi13 April 2018 at 16:57

    Great piece! I felt as if I were running to the building, too!

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    1. Susan A Eames13 April 2018 at 22:32

      Thanks, Lucy. It's great to know that my description worked for you.

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  27. Gah Learner13 April 2018 at 18:08

    Powerful writing, exciting action, and a heartbreaking end. There's the dilemma between saving oneself and not being able to help others, having to watch them die. I can't even imagine what I'd do in that situation.

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    1. Susan A Eames13 April 2018 at 22:33

      Thanks for commenting, Gah. I know what you mean - let's hope we never have to face decisions like that!

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  28. Anonymous13 April 2018 at 22:45

    You captured panic perfectly in this, sprinkled with a wee bit of confusion. Nicely done. I'm not really anonymous, I just have a hard time getting my URL to connect to your blog. Alicia

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  29. Susan A Eames13 April 2018 at 23:13

    Thank you, Alicia. Your blog name is showing - I'm afraid I don't know enough about blogs to figure out why you had trouble connecting.

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  30. Anonymous14 April 2018 at 14:25

    Vivid imagery. Great write.

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    1. Susan A Eames14 April 2018 at 14:54

      Thank you, Yarnspinner - and a big thank you for supplying the photo!

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  31. Jaya16 April 2018 at 03:00

    Powerful piece. I could feel the desperation and helplessness of Shiham, which you have captured really well.

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    1. Susan A Eames16 April 2018 at 11:35

      Thank you, Jaya - I'm glad the story worked for you.

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  32. Michael Wynn16 April 2018 at 08:40

    You captured the sheer terror briliantly

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    1. Susan A Eames16 April 2018 at 11:36

      Thanks for your feedback, Michael - really appreciate it.

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  33. magarisa16 April 2018 at 13:49

    I felt his panic as I was reading this. The last line really tugs at the heartstrings.

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  34. Susan A Eames16 April 2018 at 15:19

    Thank you for your comment, Magarisa - much appreciated!

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  35. Ann (bunnygirl)17 April 2018 at 00:06

    It takes courage as well as luck to survive one of those things. I'm glad the boy had the nerve.

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  36. Susan A Eames17 April 2018 at 09:49

    Yes, he showed clear thinking in the face of a terrifying situation, Ann. Thanks for commenting.

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  37. Lynn Love17 April 2018 at 11:15

    A terrifying situation to be in - unimaginable. The tension came through well in those short, snappy sentences. Well done Susan

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    1. Susan A Eames17 April 2018 at 11:37

      Thanks for your feedback, Lynn. Good to know that I achieved the tension I wanted to achieve.

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  38. Anonymous17 April 2018 at 17:40

    That was a terrifying life snippet that someone could have gone through in a tsunami. You've portrayed the desperation of Shiham very well.
    Good to have back Susan.
    Thanks,
    Norma.

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  39. Susan A Eames18 April 2018 at 10:45

    Thanks for the welcome back - and your feedback, Norma. It's good to be back!

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Many thanks for commenting. I appreciate your feedback.

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